Starting Monday, I will no longer work in the Audience department at the show. I will be a Production Assistant at the show. This makes me very happy. I’m not sure whether to classify it as a promotion, because it’s something of a lateral move, but it’s back under the production’s banner rather than the ...

The 9/11 Hearings Flowchart accurately describes not only the 9/11 hearings, but pretty much anything that happens in my evil hometown of Washington, D.C.

Always entertaining when you get on the freeway and see a sign that says “LEFT LANE CLOSED AHEAD,” and then when you get to the lane closure, it’s the right lane that’s actually closed.

I have had a recurring case of the hiccups for the last couple of days. And it is driving me fucking crazy. I haven’t had hiccups in four or five months, which I realize now is a pretty damn long time not to have the hiccups. I think my cumulative hiccups for that time have ...

If you value your sanity, do not try Domino’s Cheesy Dots. They are horribly, horribly addictive, and full of greasy goodness. Anything this tasty has to be full of evil. Or at the very least, shitloads of cholesterol.

Do you like the old video game Asteroids? Then you will highly enjoy the version with broccoli and asparagus. Thanks to the productivity enchancement department at Dave Barry’s Weblog.

Tom Shales, while reviewing the new HBO series Deadwood for the Washington Post, has a brief aside about censorship that I think tops even Timberlake’s “wardrobe malfunction” phrase for a description of the infamous Super Bowl incident: “The timing can only be a coincidence, since “Deadwood” has been in production for months and months, but ...

I measure my groceries in bulk. By which I mean, I expect to pay a certain amount for a certain heaviness/pain in the ass of getting up the stairs-ness of groceries. But the last two weeks have completely thrown me off in this quest. To wit: I bought a shitload of groceries last week for ...

The fabulous Miss Cleo is coming to visit. This is the good news, for it shall be fun. The bad news is that she’s the first houseguest (who’s actually staying here) I’ve had since I moved into my apartment six months ago. Which means that it’s Flight Of The Bumblebee Cleaning Time! The definite advantage ...

I just got back from seeing the Old 97’s at the Troubadour. The show was fucking awesome, and they debuted a bunch of songs from their new album, which is going to kick serious ass. But I made two major mistakes. 1. I forgot my earplugs. 2. I stood directly in front of Ken Bethea’s ...