Lord of the Rings swept. Certainly not unexpected, but at least much more deserving than the last movie that won 11 Oscars (Titanic. I fucking hated that movie). The show itself was…an awards show. Little variation from the script, most jokes not that funny (although the Jack Black/Will Ferrell “You’re Boring” song did crack me ...

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Volcano is my favorite So-Bad-It’s-Fucking-Hysterical movie ever made. Tommy Lee Jones in full “All right, listen up people! The Fugitive was a huge success, so I’m going to act this way for my next seven movies!” mode. Anne Heche, showcasing her complete inability to act, ever. ...

Today’s installment of Life Under the Governator: The ad currently airing asking people to vote for Propositions 57 and 58, some sort of balanced budget type thing. The joke is not the issue. It’s the commercial, and the hilarious contrast between the two men delivering the message. Enjoy.

Okay, I’ll grant you it’s sunny 300 days a year here in Southern California, but when it rains for real, they don’t fuck around. It was raining so hard when I was driving home that I couldn’t see more than about 100 feet in front of me for large chunks of my drive. It took ...

I thought I was cool because I visited all 50 states by the ripe old age of 22. This guy visited all 192 countries by the age of 23. He wins.

I’m in for it: Now I get to deal with the actual audience on a daily basis instead of just calling people, which is what I’ve been doing up to this point. One of the other members of my department is shifting to another show, so I’m getting thrown into the gaping maw of working ...

I really don’t think this will pass, considering how difficult and time-consuming it is to amend the constitution. But if it does, mark my words, I am leaving this country. I don’t know where I’ll go, but I cannot live in a country that makes me and a hell of a lot of other people ...

HBO gave me an early birthday present: Six Feet Under Season 2 is coming out on my birthday! Woo!

Ah, the old fortune cookie game: Adding “in bed” to whatever fortune comes your way, and giggle like a 12-year-old at the results. The two I got this evening were rather entertaining: “You will be unusually successful in business [in bed].” “Magic will be created when an unconventional person comes to stay [in bed].”

In the 1993 movie Demolition Man, there’s a joke slipped in about the Schwarzenneger Presidential Library, and an explanation that he became president after his popularity as the governor of California led to the passage of a constitutional amendment allowing immigrants to run for president. I thought it was bad enough when he became the ...