Beacuse I don’t know anyone who’d go near one of these without one. I saw that on Fark and remembered the good old days, when my mom used to use little butter tubs full of beer to attract and kill slugs in our yard. The slugs would not only drink the beer but absorb it, ...

They hit the nail on the head with the fabulous new Gay Couple Feels Pressured To Marry. There’s any number of priceless quotes, but this one is my personal favorite: “Although Burton said she is strongly in favor of allowing gay couples to form legal unions and enjoy all of the civil and social benefits ...

Ah, hiatus. I’m now officially on a 2-month break from my employers at the show, since we’re not taping anything new for 3 months, and they don’t really need us underlings back for a couple months. The downside, of course, is that this is not a paid hiatus. While it would be glorious to get ...

This would have made a far better story than my time sitting in traffic after a big road salt spill. Be sure to read the last two paragraphs. UPDATE: This is even better. Although the thought of all that cheap, shitty beer going to waste makes me want to cry.

The season’s wrapping up, so I’ve been to a number of parties over the last few days, and I think I’ve learned a couple of things that I’d like to share with you all. Co-workers + alcohol = Good Times Co-workers + alcohol + karaoke = Hilarity Ensues*. All your co-workers + open bar + ...

Aha! The big surprise at the end of the season was that…uh…there was no surprise at the end of the season! Right. Carry on, Kiefer and Kompany. Bitchelle, Soul Patch, Special Agent Charlie Brown (or should I call him Chase Skywalker now?), Potato Face, and lest we not forget, Spawn of Kiefer, we’ll see you ...

I’m still getting bounce notices by the dozen from the spammer who’s spoofing my domain name, but I finally got one that wasn’t a complete waste of time. It was entirely in German. For some reason, this amused me greatly.

It’s bad that before 11am, I’ve already got a list of people I’m going to have to smack today. 1) My asshole upstairs neighbors, moving furniture and vacuuming at 9am on a Sunday, and waking me up. Bastards. 2) The spammer who spoofed my domain name, leaving me in a giant deluge of email bounce ...

Well, the good news: We won for best talk show! Ellen even gave a shout out to those of us watching the feed at the studio (who were all going apeshit). That was fucking cool. The bad news: Ellen got hosed for best host (Wayne Brady won). We all were pretty disappointed and/or pissed. I ...

If you’re bored, sick, lazy, or just antisocial, watch the Daytime Emmys tonight at 9pm ET on NBC, and root for us! Ah, friday night awards shows. Is there a better way to depress ratings?