In my sheer and utter boredom, I’ve taken to reading Defamer, a combination of entertainment industry and celebrity gossip written in a style that makes me stunned it doesn’t collapse under the weight of its own sarcasm. However, they do a public service by pointing out the warped economics of stardom, by comparing celebrity-gift-basket cost ...

There’s a Soul Coughing song whose lyrics occasionally repeat the theme: “It is 5am…and you are listening…to Los Angeles.” But other than annoying radio jerks M. Doughty listened to while he was tripping on acid five years ago and the occasional siren, what is there to listen to at this ungodly hour? Over the last ...

Founder Of The International House Of Pancakes Dies.

At what number of hours of being asleep does it cease to be “sleeping” and become “hibernation”? I ask because I was fucking exhausted after 8 hours of sleep today. And this after doing nothing all week except going dancing last night. 14 hours seemed to be the magic number today. I feel like I’ve ...

I love when you see someone that you think looks exactly like someone you once knew, but you’re in too weird a situation to walk up to them and be like “Your name wouldn’t happen to be…?” Case in point: It’s Gay Pride weekend here in LA, so I got off my fat butt and ...

One thing I’ve splurged on during this fabulous period of unemployment and insomnia has been the fourth season of the Simpsons on DVD. This is definitely worth dipping into savings for. I love the Simpsons, but this season is sheer brilliance. I watched 10 episodes tonight (which is disturbingly easy to do with the “play ...

So my dickweed neighbors who were silenced by the Lakers’ loss last night? A short-lived silence. Their drunken laughter is echoing across the student garden of the high school next door to me, bouncing off the walls of the school, and coming directly in my window. Their cigarette smoke wafts oh so gently in that ...

I don’t watch much basketball, but at the risk of incurring the wrath of much of the rest of the City of Los Angeles, I was very happy to see the Detroit Pistons make the Lakers their punk-ass bitches in the NBA FInals. I have some obnoxious neighbors. Said neighbors are huge Laker fans, because ...

You know, a very dull day can be made better by the appearance of two of the greatest Simpsons episodes of all time. Bart vs. Australia and Homer vs. The 18th Amendment were both on today. A few of my favorite quotes of the entire series were in both of these episodes. “Coff-ee?” “Be-er?” “That’s ...

They’ve requested people “Photoshop Nemo somewhere unexpected.” The first couple are obvious toilet bowl jokes, but there are some damn funny ones in there. The “Pulp Fishin'” one is my favorite so far, followed closely by Dory and Marlin at a strip club.