I’ve been cleaning my apartment pretty thoroughly in assorted stages over the last few weekends. This is partly because I’m too broke to have a life, but mostly because it’s been almost a year since I moved in, and I’d like to get the place back to something resembling the condition it was in when ...

Whenever anything really big does anything in the universe, the most common object to compare it to appears to be Texas. This occured to me this morning when I was listening to Headline News (I hadn’t quite worked up the entergy to watch at that point) and they called Hurricane Frances “the size of Texas”. ...

MotherFUCK. That was one of the most insane games I’ve ever seen. Too bad our placekicker couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. Someone go find the captain of the soccer team…

Example #42,318,473: Frankie Muniz’s latest bid to pay off all his cars. For a far, far more entertaining diversion, see the 2 year old trailer for Comedian, featuring the guy who does the voiceover in the previous ad…and about half the other movies released each year.

I love Scrubs normally, but they had one great rant tonight. It’s Dr. Cox’s list of things he cared as little about as J.D.’s last week as a resident. The rant itself is hilarious but John C. McGinley’s delivery of it is fucking priceless. I can’t do his performance justice, but the rant, in its ...

You know, there are telemarketer messages on your phone, and then there’s the message I got when I came home. It began in the guise of someone who was leaving a message for a friend at the wrong number. Never mind that both my name and my phone number are clearly spoken on my outgoing ...

I was in Santa Monica getting a drink with a friend at Finn McCool’s, and I came out to discover that a ready-to-use bumper sticker had been placed under my rear windshield wiper. It reads “Keep Your Dissidence,” which is cute. But what’s better is that it’s from the “Society for the Rehumanization of Humanity.” ...

The following will only make sense to those who have driven in L.A. But for them, it is a feat of unparalleled driving brilliance. I got from NBC studios in Burbank to the Fred Segal at Melrose and Crescent Heights and back in an hour flat today. At 4pm. For those who have never driven ...

While biking up the beach to Santa Monica yesterday, I passed a guy on the boardwalk atop a 10-foot tall unicycle juggling knives while preaching against the evils of alcohol. I thought, “Wow, that’s weird.” And then I realized, I need to go to the beach more. Because if I did, that wouldn’t seem the ...

I just saw Garden State last night, and would like to recommend it to all of you. Zach Braff really has an incredible eye for little moments, and it’s an interesting little film. Definitely one of the better ones I’ve seen in some time. That is all. Return to your weekend slacking.