I had a fun little minor heart attack this afternoon when I almost got killed in my car by some jerkass in a pickup truck on his cell phone. I was coming back to the studio after a run. I’d like to describe how it happened, but it’s a lot easier to make a crappy ...

I had a pratfall-filled day today. I was working in the control room, which usually leads to lots of standing around and fewer opportunites to fall on my face. Yet today, thrice did I make a pratfalling ass of myself. First, I was standing on a small flight of stairs. Someone reached to get something ...

Just when you think the anti-gay insanity and panic on the part of extreme right-wingers can’t get any worse, Jimmy Swaggart goes completely off the deep end. My favorite part (other than that he thinks God will somehow believe him when he tells Him that said queer just died) is that right after threatening to ...

I was talking to my mom on the way home tonight, and I mentioned that I’m going to Brendan’s wedding in Michigan this weekend. So she said, “Okay, have fun, give me a call when you get back.” Then she put on a very, very serious voice, and said “Do NOT catch the bouquet.” Somehow, ...

Avast, ye scurrilous scalawags, and be celebratin’ Talk Like A Pirate Day today! Uh…arrrrrrr!

Could all straight women please stop calling their straight female friends their “girlfriends”? Really, for lesbians with extraordinarily poor gaydar (like…well, me), this can get terribly confusing and occasionally very disappointing. For the sake of clarity, I’d really appreciate it if we all just stuck with “friends” for people we’re not sleeping with, no matter ...

After watching Angelina Jolie work the eye patch to great success in Sky Captain this evening, I’m further convinced of a theorem I’ve posited for years: She could look be wearing a brown paper bag over her head with only eyeholes cut out so she could see and still somehow manage to make it look ...

In my overwhelming anger at getting a Christmas catalog a week after Labor day last night, I forgot to post the most amusing part of my day. I was driving up Beverly Blvd. in the middle of Beverly Hills, and there was a guy stopped in the middle of traffic, holding jumper cables and trying ...

It appears former mayor and allegedly former crackhead Marion Barry is headed back to the D.C. City Council. Every day that passes, I’m more grateful that I got the fuck out.

I came home to three signs of the impending apocalypse this evening. 1. I opened my mailbox, and the L.L. Bean Christmas catalog was inside. It’s not even fucking Columbus Day! 2. I got the third identical phone spam recording since my original post about phone spam. 3. I turn on my TV, and my ...