Now Where Did I Leave My Earplugs?

It appears my next-door neighbors have purchased some sort of karaoke apparatus. I found this out this evening while watching the World Series, as they were putting it through its (really loud) paces. They did not manage to concurrently purchase the ability to sing on-key. If you saw how off-key Liz Phair was during the ...

Miniature Dilemma 1

I suddenly got hit with the odd urge to play miniature golf this weekend, but there’s an odd problem in Southern California. In the Yahoo! Yellow pages, there are eight listings for miniature golf courses in all Los Angeles county area codes. There are 20 listings in the 310 area code alone for full-sized golf ...

Fun With International Incidents

Man, Hugo Chavez is batshit crazy. He’s clearly not stupid, because he takes Pat Robertson’s dumbfuck remarks about assasinating him and turns them into evidence that the U.S. is preparing an invasion of Venezuela, but still. It’d be almost amusing to watch him flail about all the plots that are coming from the dark corners ...

Can’t Sleep, Clown’ll Eat Me 4

This can’t be good. I’m starting to fall into patterns from last summer where I would be up until 4 in the morning, then stumbled out of bed at noon for a bit, looked for a job, then fell asleep on the couch until about 5 or 6, from which point I then could not ...

Signs You’re Overdue For A Haircut

When your cat decides your hair dangling over the back of the couch is a chew toy, it’s time for a haircut. Bad kitty.

I Am Old 5

I’m not sure what makes me feel older in this story: The fact that the actress who played Blossom has a child, or the fact that the actress who played Blossom has a PhD in Neuroscience. Oh wait, yeah, definitely the latter. And if you’re thinking, “Ew, I can’t believe you watched that dreck,” I ...

I Think The Cold Has Frozen Their Brains Solid

The recent announcement of the 2005 Ig Nobel Awards for amusingly questionable science was a fun one to read about. I mean really, how often do you get to see a (real) Nobel Prize winner dressed as a giant beer? The fake dog testicles and penguin-poop velocity calculations got all the headlines, but this one ...

On Behalf of Baseball Fans Everywhere (Except New York) 2

Yankees suck!

Ticka Tocka Ticka Tocka Oye Oye Oye!

You know it’s been a good Oktoberfest when you can’t even talk because you were sitting next to the speakers blasting oomaph music and had to shout so much all night that your voice is completely obliterated….yet you want more beer.

Misleading And Somewhat Nonsensical Headline Of The Day

Paramount Classics Chiefs Pushed Off Mountain. There’s absolutely no explanation given in the story for the headline, but I’m pretty sure it refers to the mountain in the logo shown in the top left corner. Perhaps I just don’t read Variety enough with its silly abbreviations and nicknames, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard ...