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A Quick Suggestion

Jun

27

2010

Do not try to move, relearn trigonometry, and begin to learn calculus in the space of two weeks (not necessarily in that order). You are just asking for trouble.

To The Gentleman In The Vehicle Next To Mine As I Was Departing The Bar This Evening 1

Sep

27

2009

You’d think someone who does enough cocaine that they’ve bothered to purchase a coke spoon would realize that turning the overhead light off in their busted-ass Benz while they’re snorting a giant pile of cocaine would probably be a wise idea. Or perhaps you’re just doing so much coke that you really don’t care who ...

Overcaffeinated

May

11

2009

I really need to remember when I’m not working that I need to adjust my caffeine orders on the rare occasion when I go to Starbucks. I was tired and going to a movie that I defintiely needed to stay awake through, so I stopped by Starbucks and ordered my standard drink: A triple grande ...

Oops

Feb

13

2009

I got home half an hour ago. I have a 9:15 am doctor’s appointment. For me to get 6 hours of sleep, which is generally my minimum, I would need to go to sleep…five minutes ago. I’m going to be very happy when this week is over.

Cancelled

Oct

13

2008

And the winner of this year’s First Show Deleted Off The Season Pass List is…Little Britain USA! Sorry guys, you’re just not funny enough to overcome that hideous laugh track. Although I will admit, had I gotten around to watching the two episodes of Fringe sitting on the TiVo, I might have deleted that first.

An Odd (Healthy) Choice

Mar

11

2008

I eat a lot of Healthy Choice frozen food. I am a terrible cook and I’m trying to lose weight, so their products appeal to me. One of their more respectably tasty entrées is their “Chicken Margherita”, a nice little chicken and pasta dish. For years, it was served in the traditional small, flat box. ...

A Delicious Breakfast of Failure

Jan

7

2008

I was famished when I got back from the gym today, so I poured myself a big bowl of milk and Cheerios. I got about three bites into it when I realized, “Gee, despite the fact that it smelled okay, this milk tastes awfully sour.” I realized how sour as I was pouring the bowl ...