I’m way too tired to type the full graduation thing quite yet, but I’m feeling a lot better, despite the fact that my voice is still making me sound like I have the plague. That should be fun taking orders tomorrow. “I’ll have a Thai pizza, no botulism, please.” The sunburn on my face is ...

(Note: most of this post was written a few days ago, before I got sick, but then my computer decided it needed to restart and I couldn’t finish it until now.) I haven’t written anything for a couple days because 1) I was working 2) I took a little trip to Duluth, Minnesota. Clearly, an ...

I’ve been really sick, so I haven’t updated in a while. Highlights: – I went to Duluth (more to come). – I graduated from college (WAY more to come). – I have a viral chest infection and a bacterial ear infection (hopefully not more to come). – I got really, really sunburned today (more bitching ...

Remember the Simpsons where they see Rainer Wolfcastle and he’s pigging out on several hot dogs and a leaning tower of nachos, and his excuse is that he’s going to play a fat secret agent? Okay, probably not, because you’re probably not as psychotic a Simpsons fan as I am. Unless you’re part of the ...

This cartoon is my life. No wonder this guy won the Pulitzer for the 2nd time in 4 years this year…

Some days, you just have to fight with inanimate objects. I’ve had fights like this with my computer (trying to get it to cough up a necessary file or install a stubborn program) and my DVD player (trying unsuccessfully to get it to play my copy of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which plays on other ...

I’ve fallen on my ass before, but I don’t think in front of this many people. So there’s a double swinging door to the back of the kitchen at work, and I’ve noticed that it’s much easier to get it to open right when you’re carrying a lot of shit by kicking it open in ...

Okay, this happened Saturday afternoon, but the more I think about it the more it bothers me, so I feel a need to post about it. I was at work and there were two middle-aged Jewish women and the 13 or 14-year old daughter of one of them sitting at a table. They gave me ...

I’ve had several people ask me how it feels to be 22. The answer: Pretty much the same. I didn’t get as drunk as I did last year (an easy task, because I was falling down drunk last year). There just wasn’t as much of a sense of change this year. I think the birthdays ...

For shits and giggles, here’s my horoscope for the next year, from the Washington Post: IF JUNE 8 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: Your practical side excels at organizing and creating order out of chaos. You’re an excellent referee and conciliator. You possess a mercurial temperament; this year you’re clearing the decks and looking forward to reinventing ...