I’ve fallen on my ass before, but I don’t think in front of this many people.

So there’s a double swinging door to the back of the kitchen at work, and I’ve noticed that it’s much easier to get it to open right when you’re carrying a lot of shit by kicking it open in front of you and then walking through than by trying to just push it open.

Problem today was, the floor was wet, so when I picked up my one leg to kick the door open, the other one flew right out from under me, and I fell flat on my back.

I’m gonna have a nice bruise on my ass and my shoulder’s gonna hurt for a couple days, but otherwise, I wasn’t hurt. I broke about two thirds of the dishes I was carrying, but thankfully the managers at work are cool and care more about whether people are OK than plates.

I love people’s reactions when I tell them the story:

Cleo: chicks dig scars

Cleo: its hot

Me: yes, but this won’t create a scar.

Cleo: say you got it in some fucked up sex romp

I will. Except then they’ll read this and know the truth, but hopefully by then I’ll have already conned them into having pity sex with me.

Because you’ve gotta start somewhere.

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