2008 ← Ellen Shapiro dot com ← Page 12

Partly Cloudy With A Chance of DOOOOOM 1

May

22

2008

Today’s forecast was partly cloudy, 0% chance of rain, as it normally is between mid-March and late October in Southern California. I thought it was weird enough when I looked out the window around noon, and there was a freak rainstorm downtown with raindrops so large that I thought it was hailing. But out in ...

What Credit Crunch?

May

20

2008

I got a USAA checking account for their bad-ass Deposit@Home feature, where you scan in checks instead of mailing them in or having to go deposit them somewhere. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize you had to have a “Credit Product” (ie. car loan or credit card) to access this feature, so I had to sign up ...

Oh, Yeah… 2

May

18

2008

I suppose I should say something here before it starts, since I will likely be sucked into a black hole for a couple months once it does: I’ve got a new job starting Wednesday. I’m leaving the HBO pilot I’m on as a PA up in Santa Clarita to work on a Fox pilot as ...

Tri’ed and Failed

May

18

2008

Did another gym triathlon this morning, and instead of being able to at least make the same time, if not make up time, I actually did ten minutes worse, coming in at exactly 2 hours. I think almost all of that increase can be blamed on using a different type of elliptical machine. I’m debating ...

You’ve Gotta Have Goals

May

14

2008

If I actually manage to lose enough weight to get down to where I really want to be, I will totally be doing this: Formerly Obese Man Always Showing Everyone His Old Pants RUFFS DALE, PA—According to John Swink’s friends, family, coworkers, and casual acquaintances, as well as a growing number of local waiters and… ...

Is It Just Me? 3

May

12

2008

I’m not normally a germophobe, but this morning at the gym, someone did something that icked me out something awful. When you swim, you’re supposed to rinse off in the communal shower by the pool before and after. This both helps prevent dirt from getting in the pool (before) and helps get rid of some ...

Duly Noted

May

11

2008

I took my current job just under 2 months ago. Since then I have driven over six thousand miles, almost all of it either to, from, or for work. I have bought 28 26 tanks of gas to accomplish this feat, at a total price of $1031.28. I am really starting to wish I had ...

Well, THAT Was Fun

May

9

2008

Normally it takes me 45 minutes to get from Santa Monica to Santa Clarita. Today, it took me 1 hour, 35 minutes. 15 minutes spent just getting ON the 405 freeway to go north, because for no apparent reason, the 10E-405N interchange was ridiculously backed up. Then after I finally broke free of that, I ...

Strike Two

May

6

2008

Depending on who you read, talks between the AMPTP and the Screen Actors’ Guild either ended without a deal or completely fucking imploded tonight. You know it’s serious when Nikki Finke breaks out the clip-art alarm bells. So now, we’re staring down the barrel of another potential strike, this time by the Actors. A smaller ...

Things I Did Not Need To See

May

6

2008

…at 5:30 this morning as I dragged my sorry ass to the gym: A freakishly gigantic spider dangling from my porch light RIGHT AT EYE LEVEL. I considered stomping on it when it rapidly descended to the ground, but the damn thing was so big, I feared I would only make it angry. I’m just ...