hilarity ← Ellen Shapiro dot com ← Page 8

Easter Fun 1

Mar

29

2007

One of my coworkers received a large box of Easter crap from his folks today, including an enormous number of Peeps. I commented that we should microwave them, and someone asked why. Peeps, as has been repeatedly documented, expand to several times their original size in the microwave, and then poof out in an awesomely ...

I Stand Corrected

Mar

27

2007

I was bitching about my continuing singlehood to some friends this weekend, saying it felt like I was in the midst of the longest dry streak in the world. It was good to learn that I still have a ways to go before I can claim that title. Courtesy, of course, Dave Barry’s Blog.

You Kids Get Off My Videogame System! 2

Mar

24

2007

Now I know why I can’t find a damn Wii: They’re being snapped up by retirement communities. Well, and everyone else and their brother, mother, sister, and now grandparents. The video that’s on that story is pretty cute though, especially the 89 year old woman who hasn’t bowled since 1945.

Religious Update 2

Mar

19

2007

You know, if this were the text used at the Seder my stepmom keeps harassing me to go to, I might actually go one of these years. Courtesy, once again, Dave Barry’s Blog

Oh Lord, Won’t You Buy Me A Mercedes-Benz?

Mar

16

2007

I drove mine into a river following bad GPS directions and it was swept away, I must make amends… Special bonus quote with hilarious British town name: Although the track is signposted as ‘unsuitable for motor vehicles’, the driver carried on and found herself at a ford in the village of Sheepy Magna. courtesy Dave ...

Hitting The Irony Jackpot

Mar

6

2007

Well, I did not win almost 400 million dollars in the lottery, but I did score a fairly funny souvenir in my losing ticket. Across the top, there’s a little message: March 5-11 is National Problem Gambling Awareness Week Awesome that it happens to fall on a week with a ridiculously enormous jackpot. It’d be ...

Cleanup on Aisle 6

Feb

23

2007

I think I set a new world record for clumsiness this afternoon. I was out doing some errands for the production company’s office (I officially work for one of the production companies that produces the show, and they have an office off-lot), and I managed the most fractious display of my clumsiness ever. First, I ...

Those Classy Brits

Feb

15

2007

They ask the tough questions, and they use entirely non-suggestive illustrations:

Sorely Tempting 1

Feb

14

2007

Apparently, someone is almost as big a fan of hilariously awful made-for-TV movies as I am: A double-feature of 10.5 and Category 6: Day of Destruction is now available on DVD. And as you’ll note at the bottom, you can buy that DVD and the DVD of 10.5: Apocalypse for under $25. That may be, ...

Bitterness, Put To Good Use

Feb

8

2007

It appears someone at Amazon.com is as gloriously bitter about being single on Valentine’s Day as I am, and has created an entire Love Stinks site to complement their V-day site. They really went all the way on this, creating a really hysterical list of Bad Valentine’s Gift Ideas. Want to piss off your significant ...