Ellen Shapiro dot com ← Tech :: Music

How To Keep Your Kids Away From Drugs

Apr

17

2007

Don’t go for the usual scare tactics. Instead, show them true life tales of exactly how unbelievably dumb people can be when they are stoned: Two Men Arrested After Accidentally Dialing 911 While Trying To Page Their Dealer When Asked For Identification, Man Hands Cop His Pot Pipe And they will not want to smoke ...

Cowboy Up

Apr

17

2007

This is getting more ridiculous on a daily basis. So I went to Dr. Hot Shit, who I’d been trying to get in with for a while (and who I got some strings pulled to get into), in order to get a third and final opinion on my foot. Of course, he thinks something else ...

It Begins Again

Apr

13

2007

My boss’s episode shoots one night tomorrow night (yes, Saturday. Don’t get me started.), then starts shooting for real on thursday, so I’m going to be back in the black hole of 16 hour days for a while. I should have a more concrete update on the Foot Fiasco of ’07 sometime late next week, ...

Oh, Darn!

Apr

11

2007

The office park where the 24 Hour Fitness I go to is located is having its power shut off overnight tonight into tomorrow morning, so 24HF is closed until 8am. Since I have to be at work at 8, this means I can’t work out tomorrow morning. Let me tell you, I am just so ...

We’ve Managed to Bargain Them Down To…A Booting

Apr

10

2007

So my orthopedist stuck me in a boot for a couple weeks starting last Thursday to try and stabilize my collapsing arch. The boot is a little hilarious because it has a pump which can allegedly be used to pump up the cast to give more support. It’s about as effective as the pumps in ...

Too Bad Winter’s Over 3

Apr

7

2007

One thing I do love about the end of winter is the proliferation of sales at various outdoor stores. Especially when they start trying to get rid of some of their more unusual products. “Glove not included” is one of the more amusing disclaimers I’ve seen in a while.

Thank You, Jeebus

Apr

5

2007

I am very, very, very glad that Good Friday is a union holiday. I’m so fucking tired I don’t think I would have made it through tomorrow without descending into narcolepsy.

Because People Like To Say Salsa

Apr

3

2007

A couple days ago, a new vehicle arrived in the parking lot behind my building. It’s a bright blue PT Cruiser, wrapped in an ad for a small salsa company with tons of bright yellow chips and bright red bottles of salsa. And bright yellow New Mexico license plates. I am so very, very confused.

Contraption Update 2

Apr

3

2007

Remember that contraption to replace crutches I was talking about? I was showing the web page to people around the office, asking if they’d ever heard of anyone who’d used it. Turns out not only had my friend Pam heard of it, she knew the guy who invented it (back in the day when it ...

Just Call Me Jack Sparrow

Apr

1

2007

I really want to find out if this awesome contraption is actually a viable alternative to crutches. Because if it is, I’m totally getting one if I have to have surgery. If I do, I’m totally reusing it at Halloween and being a pirate. Arrr!