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Along My Bike Ride Today

Oct

11

2009

I saw it in the distance. And I thought,”What the fuck is that sitting on the sand? It looks like a boat. It…is a boat…”: Okay, so it’s a boat just sitting in the middle of the sand on the middle of a very busy beach. I have a few questions. 1. How exactly did ...

Things I Did Not Need To Find Out

May

31

2009

In case you’ve ever wondered, “So, what happens when you’re biking along and a car creates a small pothole and sends little chunks of asphalt everywhere?” I can now say: You hear the bang, and half a second later you feel an intense pain in your thigh. You pull over for a second, say, “OW, ...

That Ain’t Right 3

Dec

17

2008

What the fuck is going on with the weather out West? First it snows six inches in Antelope Valley (just north of Los Angeles) this morning, then I see this: That’s the big fake Pharoah at the Luxor. In fucking LAS VEGAS. Yes, that’s right, folks, Las Vegas got six inches of snow today, too. ...

What’s Up, Doc?

Aug

1

2008

Two bits of interest from my annual physical this morning. First of all, I’ve grown an inch. I’ve never measured above 5’4″, and often called myself 5’4″ on a good day. For some reason, today, I measured 5’5″ even. Not that I’m complaining, particularly since this height change knocks a solid point off my BMI. ...

Achtung: Flying Fish

Jul

25

2008

I went fishing with my dad today, and he did really well. He caught five fish: two HUGE cutthroat trout, two good-sized rainbows, and a pretty decent-sized brook trout. I, on the other hand…I hooked one fish myself. Well, hooked might not be the right word. I had a little rainbow that was maybe five ...

Partly Cloudy With A Chance of DOOOOOM 1

May

22

2008

Today’s forecast was partly cloudy, 0% chance of rain, as it normally is between mid-March and late October in Southern California. I thought it was weird enough when I looked out the window around noon, and there was a freak rainstorm downtown with raindrops so large that I thought it was hailing. But out in ...

This Can’t Be Right 4

Apr

7

2008

But I’ll enjoy it while it lasts: So confused…Orioles…winning? Bwah?

Inappropriate Historical Hilarity

Jan

28

2008

I saw this in a comment thread on Fark today, and I couldn’t stop laughing for about five minutes afterwards. I don’t know why I found this so goddamn funny, but it still makes me snicker when I look at it.

I Guess This Means I Should Buy A Hamburger Phone 1

Jan

10

2008

I just had the fifth person I know tell me unsolicited that they watched Juno and she reminded them of me. I take it as a compliment, since I really liked the character. However, this raises two related questions for me: 1. How much weirder does this trend make it that this movie made me ...