I love days where I just keep falling asleep for no apparent reason, and no matter how much I sleep, I’m still tired. It’s not narcolepsy, because it’s not really sudden. I think it’s probably more laziness than anything else, but I’ll call today’s version Spanish Sleeping Sickness, both because it’s alliterative and because it’s ...

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck….(note for easier reading: if you’re registered at any Tribune paper, your password will work at LATimes.com) I refuse to cross picket lines on principle (and especially on this one, because from what I’ve read, the owners are really trying to dick over the workers), but this strike’s going to be ...

And go see Kill Bill. If you can stomach the violence, it fucking rocks. And even if you can’t, bring a vomit bag, and go anyway. Because it still fucking rocks.

There is an episode of the Simpsons where Homer needs to have a crayon reinserted into his brain by Moe to return him to his normal state of stupidity. Don’t ask about the plot, I only explain it to explain the quotes forthcoming. As Moe reinserts the crayon, he tries to determine if he’s gotten ...

My sleep schedule is totally fucked up. I can’t get to sleep before four in the morning and thus can’t drag my lazy ass out of bed before 11. Cooper, he of the work-mandated ridiculously early rising times, tends to get up and mock me for being awake even before I make my first attempt ...

Is it a good or bad sign that I’m going through two gallons of milk a week?

And so it was, that the Governator came to pass. I am not going to ever be able to listen to that man try to make a serious policy speech without breaking into hysterical giggling. I don’t care how long he’s Governor of “Cahleefohnia,” I just can’t take him seriously. Hopefully he’ll have enough restraint ...

I haven’t met that many people from my building, but the ones I’ve met seem to be fairly intelligent. However, someone who lives on my side of the building betrays this appearance, for they do not understand how to operate a toaster. Five times over the last week, I’ve caught the distinctive smell of burnt ...

The reinstatement of my voodoo curse on the Atlanta Braves has worked! On behalf of Cubs fans everywhere, CUBS WIN!

Someone else puts my mood into words a hell of a lot better than I ever could. Thus, the Jill Sobule song “Rock Me To Sleep.” Six in the morning Been up since three I wish I had somebody to rock me to sleep The sun won’t be melting these snowy white sheets Wish I ...