To: Axl From: Ellen Re: The VMA‘s Dear Mr. Rose, You clearly blew out your voice several years ago. You are out of shape to the point where you cannot even hold the wan notes you emit because running around like you used to makes you wheeze to the point of almost having an athsma ...

So I’m going home on Saturday to help clean up my room for my mom’s impending move out of the house I grew up in. Mom, of course, chose this as the best time to trip over a box and fracture her wrist, so that she can’t lift anything heavier than eight ounces. I got ...

Dave Weigel, who is a nice guy despite the fact that he edits the Chron, has mocked Northwestern’s decision to change the name of my school from the School of Speech to the School of Communication. This would have been a revolutionary name change had they done it in about 1974.

To add ketchup, or not? Mark Brown follows up on his previous article. I still think this is all ridiculous.

Since nothing really, truly odd happened today (well, aside from a surreal debate on how the term “whoop ass” was spelled [me: “whoop-ass”, Lummis: “whoopas”. As it turns out we were both wrong, but I’m sorry, the latter sounds like a bad Star Wars character]), I have a couple things from yesterday. Remember the muffin ...

I love Chicago, but sometimes I wonder about the people in it. Example: Putting ketchup on a hot dog is considered sacrelige here. When I was at the White Sox game last week, I got 2 hot dogs and a bag of chips, and asked where the “Ketchup and stuff” was. The woman gave me ...

So me, Miyuki, Cleo, Eddy, and Jack were walking to Giordano’s from my apartment. At the corner of Chicago and Grove, Cleo suddenly shouts, “Oh my god, that guy is naked!” really, really loud, and points at a shirtless man in the first floor of apartments in the building on the corner. The man then ...

I love Chicago. Fuck moving. I had been thinking (and still am, half-heartedly) of moving away from Chicago to try and get a job in my field, when I realized 2 things: 1. There are no jobs in my field anywhere, so moving is not going to help. 2. I really love this place. Miyuki, ...

I would only like to make the following statements about my post last night: 1. Impressionable is spelled with two s’s, and that’s about the only spelling error I noticed. I find it sad that I am so anal about spelling that I even make an effort to do so when drunk. I should have ...

I was at camp five years ago, and they filmed a reality show for the Disney Channel called Bug Juice. I was poking around on the internet and found out what the production company that prodcued that series is doing now: Gay Weddings. I hope, at least for the guys’ sake, they still have Stacey, ...