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Unemployment Funnies 1

Aug

7

2009

One that I’ve been saving for a while because it so defines the existence of the unemployed person, courtesy of Garfield Minus Garfield: And one that was recently reposted by The Onion, Unemployed Man Getting Really Good At Unemployment: Through a months-long process of trial and error, Higby has learned the tricks of the unemployment ...

A Little Close To Home

Aug

29

2008

Some days I feel like the guy in this Onion Radio News bit (Achtung: loud, autoplaying audio). Gee, it would be nice to be employed.

The Onion Strikes Again

Jun

17

2008

Being friends with mostly theater geeks in High School, I rather enjoyed this (particularly the last line about the location of the Technical awards): High School Tony Awards Honor Nation’s Biggest Drama Club Nerds

You’ve Gotta Have Goals

May

14

2008

If I actually manage to lose enough weight to get down to where I really want to be, I will totally be doing this: Formerly Obese Man Always Showing Everyone His Old Pants RUFFS DALE, PA—According to John Swink’s friends, family, coworkers, and casual acquaintances, as well as a growing number of local waiters and… ...

Nonsensical Awesomeness

Feb

29

2008

The Onion has outdone itself this week: Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies WASHINGTON—Authorities expect the shortage to subside by April, but until then, urge citizens to skip shy the rickshaw until the flypaper marigolds can waterfall. .onion_embed {background: rgb(256, 256, 256) !important;border: 4px solid rgb(65, 160, 65);border-width: 4px 0 1px ...

Hee Hee

Feb

8

2008

The best Onion Radio News in a while. Audio plays automatically on loading, so adjust your volume accordingly.

That’s Appropriate

Nov

30

2007

So I get home from drinking with the crew because today (well, yesterday at this hour) was our last day of filming, and I grab the computer so I can read while icing my foot. The first thing I see when I look at my RSS feeds is this from the Onion: “Uninsured Man Hopes ...

On A Lighter, More Baseball-Related Note… 1

Oct

31

2007

Two bits of post-World Series amusement, firstly from The Onion’s Sports department: Colorado Rockies: ‘What The Fuck Just Happened?’ .onion_embed {background: rgb(256, 256, 256) !important;border: 4px solid rgb(65, 160, 65);border-width: 4px 0 1px 0;margin: 10px 30px !important;padding: 5px;overflow: hidden !important;zoom: 1;}.onion_embed img {border: 0 !important;}.onion_embed a {display: inline;}.onion_embed a.img {float: left !important;margin: 0 5px 0 ...

Fuck Off, I’m Listening To The Onion

Oct

25

2007

Today’s Onion Radio News provided me, and I hope shall provide you, with a sorely needed laugh. Audio definitely not safe for work, unless you’re either wearing headphones or work in an office that wholeheartedly believes in this research.

Funny or Sad?

Jul

25

2007

Because either way, it’s true: Barry Bonds Home-Run Scandal Somehow Becomes Feel-Good Sports Story Of Summer SAN FRANCISCO—Although Barry Bonds remains the target of criticism over his possible—some say almost certain—use of performance-enhancing substances, the fact that Bonds has not been implicated in dogfighting, nightclub… .onion_embed {background: rgb(256, 256, 256) !important;border: 4px solid rgb(65, 160, ...