insomnia ← Ellen Shapiro dot com

Addendum

Aug

16

2010

Been meaning to post this xkcd somewhere because it rings so true, but hadn’t gotten around to it because I’m so damn tired. Between Chaplin being doped up on painkillers for a kidney issue and me being massively sleep-deprived, I’m not sure which one of us is going to become convinced he can talk first.

Clown’ll Eat Me

Oct

9

2009

I’ve been really tired all week, but somehow I’m still managing to stay up until 2 or 3am. Chaplin seems to be biologically programmed to wake up at about 8am and knock shit over until I drag myself out of bed, so things are not going to be fun until I can convince my body ...

The Feline Alarm Clock 2

Aug

5

2009

Chaplin has decided that on some mornings, I don’t get to sleep in. He bats at my glasses on the table next to my bed, making a loud clatter when he knocks them down or forcing me to get up and chase him if he manages to pick them up with his teeth. He stares ...

It’s All Fun and Games

Aug

2

2009

It’s always fun to play the game, “Do I feel blah because…?” This week’s candidates: I’m bored out of my mind and am slowly feeling my sanity slip away as I go deeper into my fourth month of unemployment? I’m coming down with something? My increasingly unbearable bed is causing me to sleep so poorly ...

When Fleas, Six-Day Weeks and 5:30 PM Call Times Collide

Jun

22

2008

It’s been hellaciously hot in L.A. this week, so the fleas that I thought I’d gotten rid of are back with a MASSIVE vengeance. The only real solution is to flea-bomb the house to kill ’em all. The problem is, flea-bombing is a stupidly elaborate and time-consuming process, since it has a tendency to cover ...

I Don’t Know Why I Find This Amusing

Apr

3

2008

I think because I’m so tired I’m finding everything funny… Earlier tonight, a tornado went right over the headquarters of the National Weather Service, which, among many many other things, tracks tornadoes and tries to predict where they’re going to go. That must have been a fun realization: “Steve, how’s that twister you’re tracking?” “Uh…RUN!” ...

The Daily Grind 4

Nov

13

2007

Wearing a mouthguard is weird. I had to order one because I’ve been super-stressed what with the strike and all, and have been grinding my teeth when I sleep, leading to some fairly irritating jaw pain. I’d done this before when I was unemployed, and my dentist had suggested $1500 worth of contraptions to prevent ...

Boom

Jul

4

2007

All around my neighborhood, people are heeding a piece of advice given by a non-Apu convenience store clerk on The Simpsons: “Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it!” Between them and the cat repeatedly pouncing on me (a delightful new habit that’s cropped up since I returned to ...