In order to get past increasingly proficient spam filters, spammers are now tucking their ads away in properly-structured but completely absurdist letters. I now present, in its entirety, the Most Amusingly Absurd Spam I’ve Ever Seen, starring Ed Meese, robot-soul-stealing orphans, seductive nurses, and gay economists: After he kissed you, didn’t Ed Meese insist that ...

Posting may be a little light for a bit because I’m trying to figure out my clusterfuck of a job situation. I finish my current job Friday, and I picked up two weeks of temporary work at the reality show I am least likely to ever be picked a contestant for (excluding any and all ...

A few changes on the blog link front: Happily, Tim’s Cancer Info Board is no longer being updated since Tim has managed to sucessfully fend off testicular cancer. Yay Tim! CheshireKim’s blog is dead. For now. She’s killed it only to resurrect it once before, so we’ll see how long she holds out. My money’s ...

CBS, the network behind the spectacularly awful Category 6: Day of Destruction, have decided to turn their sights on my hometown: David Arquette and Richard T. Jones will save the world in a real-time CBS movie tentatively titled “Time Bomb.” The thriller centers on a threat received by the Department of Homeland Security that a ...

I had a great money-saving strategy: Eat everything in the house until I had only the elements of food left, then go to the grocery store. And this morning, all that was left was beer, condiments, salad dressing, and noodles. As my mom rightly surmised, had I run out of beer, I would have gone ...

It started simply, with a link about Waffle House’s 50th anniversary appearing on Fark. Although I’m far more partial to their waffles and hash browns, it’s interesting to know that almost 2% of the eggs in this country eventually end up at a Waffle House. Too bad the closest Waffle House to me is in ...

I love Roger Ebert’s reviews of horrible movies. He’s not nearly as good a reviewer when he likes something, becuase there’s a particular bit of bile that gets stirred up within him when he really despises something. And he brought out the big guns for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo: a zero-star review. To wit: “Deuce ...

Whoops!: Swan Pair In Boston Turns Out To Be All Female And, of course, since this is in Massachussets, the center of the Gay Marriage Controversy, nobody can leave a silly story like this alone: ”I think this proves that there’s something in the environment in Massachusetts,” Brian Camenker, director of the Article 8 Alliance, ...

Speaking of cars, I got an oil change yesterday. And the place I get my oil changed at always makes me giggle a bit. Because it’s an EZ Lube next to an In-N-Out. I make eighth graders look mature.

I went to fill my tank this morning at the Cheapest Off-Brand Gas Station in LA (San Fernando Valley excluded). I could hear my credit cards whimpering as the numbers ceaslessly ticked upwards. And then, the numbers slowed down, and not because the tank was filling up. No no, the credit card was only pre-authorized ...