Ouch

My electric bill doubled this month. Stupid massive heat wave. I, for one, blame Al Gore.

Wayback Machine 3

Continuing my theme of I Can’t Think of Anything Else To Post, let’s take a trip back to about this time of year in 1981, when I was young and my parents’ cat resented my existence: I do love that picture. My parents are convinced Fat Cat is looking protective. I think he looks more ...

Holy Shit, It’s Wednesday?!

One of the more entertaining topics of conversation at work today was this spectacularly obvious revelation in the press, and it’s subsequent causing of cases of shock (shock!) amongst certain Americans. The best comment I heard/read all day came from the comments on the Defamer story on the matter: I was more surprised when someone ...

Miscellaneous Etc. 2

I don’t have anything terribly original to say today, so I hereby present a couple of my favorite quotes from the interweb over the last couple of days: Hello, weather? Satan called. He’s sorry you two fought, but he really wants to patch things up, so you should RETURN TO HELL IMMEDIATELY. –50 Books. And ...

Dear Dumbasses Neighbors

It is a frillion degrees out. You should be operating the air conditioning that comes standard in all apartments in our building. You therefore should not have any windows open for your cat to push out the screen, climb out into the hole in the center of the building, and meow for 5 minutes. Your ...

It’s Hot In Los Angeles

“How hot is it?”, I imagine you all asking in unison. It is this hot: That is a can of Diet 7up that overheated so badly in my car that the top literally blew right off. Sadly, the picture doesn’t do justice to the magnitude of how ridiculous it looks in person. I bought a ...

I (Heart) The Onion, Part XLVII

You know, swap out PNC Park for Camden Yards, and the Pittsburgh Pirates for the Baltimore Orioles, and this story would still be both accurate and hilarious.

Project Time! 1

Over the course of rehabbing my foot, I’ve been collecting these progressively stronger giant rubber bands of different colors that I use to strengthen my muscles. Every time my foot gets stronger, they give me one that’s a different color with more tension. They’re fun, but I need to figure out what to do with ...

Don’t Encourage Incorrigibles

So, my dad’s recurring diverticulitis finally landed him in the hospital. He’s going to be fine, but I’m somewhat worried about him. I became less worried when I heard he pulled this little stunt. He’s on a liquid diet until the doctors decide when, precisely, to operate on him to take out the portion of ...

Arachnaphobia

I’m usually not very scared of spiders. I usually dispose of them by either setting Chaplin on them or catcing them with a piece of toilet paper and flushing them to their watery graves. There are exceptions to every rule. I was napping on my couch this afternoon when my eyes briefly opened…and I saw ...