Clearly, this is going to result in some sort of pornographic rip-off of Finding Nemo.

From The Onion: Gemini: (May 21—June 21) After weeks of deliberation, you have yet to hear a compelling argument for not beating most of the people you’ve ever met to within an inch of their lives.

Lindsay presents: Lessons from 24.

I am now officially a college graduate. I have my $120,000 piece of paper and everything. I should back up a bit. Back about three weeks ago, all of my parental units (mom, dad, stepmom) showed up in Chicago, something that’s always a little weird for me. Chicago has always been my zone where I ...

I’m sorry, I just have to bitch for a second. It is abominably hot here in Chicago. I’m fortunate enough to have a window unit for my bedroom so I can actually get some sleep, but when I open the door to leave (take a shower, get a beer, etc.), it’s just ridiculous. It’s like ...

Indispensible item for the world traveler.

Okay, the graduation post is coming. Eventually. However, I’ve been sucked into reading all the Harry Potter books again, since I got the fifth book but couldn’t remember what the fuck happened in the other books, so I clearly have to reread them all before getting to the fifth book. This is the primary reason ...

I find it appropriate that I drive the Most Lesbian Car Ever.

I promise I am working on something, and it will go up soon. Not much going on this week, but I’m still running around like a maniac reading Supreme Court decisions, working, and other such nonsense. I’ll get something up about graduation and my future plans sometime in the next few days, I promise.

I’m way too tired to type the full graduation thing quite yet, but I’m feeling a lot better, despite the fact that my voice is still making me sound like I have the plague. That should be fun taking orders tomorrow. “I’ll have a Thai pizza, no botulism, please.” The sunburn on my face is ...