It’s so great when you’re IMing with someone and you suddenly find out they’re drunk. Example (which I swear I’m not making up, but I will keep the person making an ass of himself anonymous so he is not quite as publicly shamed): anonymous: ellen i wanna fuck you anonymous: i’m sorry, i’m very tired ...

For the benefit of the universe: I am dense. I cannot read minds, and I am extremely bad at picking up signals. If you have something you’d like to tell me, do me a favor and just fucking tell me. Everyone loves leaving subtextual clues for everyone else (and it’s not like I’m not guilty ...

I love Chicago. Butt cold in the winter, sauna-like in the summer. Yay for fuckin’ that. It’s actually not that hot yet, it just kinda feels like it because it’s been cold for so long, and because there’s no air conditioning in my apartment. A barbaric way to live, i know, but included a/c will ...

Studying for my Gender and Society final (which is largely about sex and sex-related topics) got me thinking: there is a natural cycle of sex vs. relationships that everyone seems to go through. At first, you want something. Anything will do, though having the stable, long-term relationship before the sex is generally considered a good ...

I think I’ve found a way to combine two of the most popular internet scams (Diets and College Diplomas) into one undefeatable scam: The Soul-Crushing Stress Of College Diet. Yes, in this scam, er..program, you get sent to a top-flight school for a year. You live on your own, so you don’t feel bad if ...

I love that in order to better prepare for finals, we participate in an activity that is guaranteed to kill brain cells by the millions.

It’s Dillo Time, kiddies. Ah yes, the time of year when the Rainbow Party (big gay party held at the end of Rainbow Week with massive amounts of Sketchy Punch–also known as Everclear and Kool-Aid) coincides with the other festival of drunkennes on campus, Dillo Day. Dillo Day is a day when moderately famous bands ...

It’s 3 in the morning and I feel downright chipper. It’s not because I had some sort of fantastic day. I had an up and down day. Up because I finally decided to fully skip the Class From Hell (News Media and American Society) instead of subjecting myself to half of the pointlessness then saying ...

I was parking my car when I got back from four hours of logging footage for a project, and I saw there was a guy in the car I was parking behind. And he was listening to the same radio station I was. How did I know that, you ask? I look over and he’s ...

This has been a long, odd day. Not in any specific way, it just was kind of off and unusual all day. But I should have known what was coming. The first sign of oddness was this morning, when I momentarily found myself trapped in a commercial for the Honda Civic. I was returning equipment ...