people are dicks ← Ellen Shapiro dot com

This Story Is Only Hilarious Because I Lived To Tell The Tale 3

Nov

17

2010

I’ve been riding Bike 2.0 around a lot – partly to break it in, and partly because of an ear infection that’s keeping me out of the pool until after Thanksgiving. Since I ride on the Pacific Coast Highway and through Westwood Village quite a bit, I see a lot of really stupid driver behavior ...

Bye Bye Bikey 2

Oct

29

2010

July 29th, I bought a new bike. It took three months minus one day for it to get stolen. I got home last night around 10pm, and as I have for the last three months (minus one day), I locked my bike to my roommate’s flat-tired, rusted-out bike, which is (well, was) locked to a ...

My Irrational Hatred For Tourists Is Now Entirely Rational 1

Aug

25

2010

Sunday afternoon, I finished all my homework early. I wanted to have a nice long workout, and I debated going for a bike ride or going for a swim. It was a really nice day, so I decided to go for a bike ride. I should have gone for a swim. About 32 miles into ...

We’ve Come A Long Way, With A Ways To Go 3

Nov

5

2008

Last night was like the end of a marathon. The elation and ecstatic reaction after Obama finally won the Presidency was surreal, like crossing the finish line first when you barely thought you had a chance. And then, watching Prop 8 pass was like having someone walk up to that same theoretical marathoner and punching ...

People Are Dicks, Vol. 2

Apr

22

2008

People are dicks when they commit two key, related fouls in the lap pool at the gym: 1. Taking up over 2/3 of the very large lane, leaving me a sliver in which to swim. For the most part, I was okay, but this dick was… 2. Still managing to flail so wildly as to ...

People Are Dicks, Vol. 1

Apr

16

2008

Now begins a new feature here on Goat World, called People Are Dicks, in which I will be chronicling the ways both large and small in which people are dicks on an ongoing basis. Today: People are dicks because they blow up something in the communal microwave, then let the shrapnel from this explosion burn ...