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Signs You Have Lost Your Damn Mind

Jun

10

2008

You work a fourteen-and-a-half hour day and as you blearily walk to you car, you think, “Man, that could have been a LOT worse.”

Tail of the Tape

May

2

2008

Hours worked this week: 76.6, for a six-day week. Miles driven for work this week: 841. And I didn’t even drive anywhere Sunday. Days I still managed to drag myself to the gym: 4, exactly as planned. I now know I can do this and am not allowed to make “But I had to work ...

The Daily Grind 4

Nov

13

2007

Wearing a mouthguard is weird. I had to order one because I’ve been super-stressed what with the strike and all, and have been grinding my teeth when I sleep, leading to some fairly irritating jaw pain. I’d done this before when I was unemployed, and my dentist had suggested $1500 worth of contraptions to prevent ...

Name Your Children Well

Oct

16

2007

I have a story I recently learned about from my mom to share with those of you who are having kids. You are a percentage of my group of friends which is increasing at an alarming rate, so I feel a need to warn you. This is the story of what happens when a joke ...

Dept. of Fools for Clients

Aug

14

2007

Some days, I think I’m starting to really lose my mind. And then I read a handwritten pro se lawsuit like this festival of batshit craziness and realize I have a long way to go. Courtesy Fark.

A Little Stir Crazy

May

17

2007

Having spoken to precisely two people in person in the last week and a half, including my neighbor who came up to tell me that anytime I ran water in my apartment her kitchen was flooding, it was nice to have Miss Cleo come by tonight. However, I’ve been so starved for human contact, I ...

Castening: Day 2 1

May

11

2007

Yesterday, I was bored. Today, I’m restless. Tommorrow, I think I’m going to hit full-on Marge on a plane “LetmeoutLetmeoutLetmeoutLetmeout!” mode. This is going to be a looooong summer.

Foot Follies: The Castening 3

May

10

2007

It is done. And the pegleg has arrived: Yeah, I know it looks goofy as hell, but it works, and that’s all I give a shit about. More pictures at my flickr page, which will be getting updated quite a bit since I now have a whooooooooooole lot of time on my hands and pretty ...

Lost

Apr

27

2007

One mind, poor condition (approximately three functioning brain cells remaining at time of loss). If found, please return to me circa 6pm today/yesterday. Would have been of significant help. Willing to trade for functioning right left leg. Edit, Sunday night – Here’s how nuts I was when I wrote this: I asked for the wrong ...

How Tired Am I? 1

Sep

28

2006

So tired that when I was at the hardware store tonight waiting for the credit card swiper to bring up the signature page, I started randomly singing the “doo doo doo dee doo dee doo doo do” part of The Hustle…out loud. The clerk noticed, and called me on it. I told him it was ...