My Onion Horoscope for this week: Gemini (May 21 – June 21): You’re a natural born skeptic, always questioning the world in your search for empirical truth, rejecting along the way pseudoscience, psychobabble, and any other nonsense—like all Geminis. Hee.

1. Goddamn, this is a good show, despite their serious issues with the space/time continuum. 2. I’m really glad I waited to watch these episodes, because I would have been PISSED if I’d had to wait three months for a resolution to that cliffhanger. 3. Ow, my eyes. 4. I should really look into getting ...

“To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems!” -Homer Simpson

There’s a new song in a very straightforward country music style by Trace Adkins which appropriates a phrase popularized by Missy Elliott. I’m not sure if I find that encouraging, silly, bizarre, or a little bit of all three. Although I must admit, I’m a little surprised Big & Rich or Cowboy Troy didn’t beat ...

1. Blech. 2. This tastes like cold alphabet soup without the alphabet noodles. 3. UCK. 4. The only way this could possibly be tolerable is as part of a very strong Bloody Mary, where there’s enough vodka to make you not care how horrifically bad it tastes. 5. Now I remember why I never drank ...

But new Washington Post music critic J. Freedom du Lac has an excellent line on “You’re Beautiful” singer James Blunt: Don’t hate James Blunt because he’s beautiful. Hate him because he sounds like his underwear is three sizes too small.

Okay, two straight nights of this shit, I’ve got to post something about it. If you give a fuck about either 24 or the L Word and haven’t seen the most recent episodes, STOP READING RIGHT NOW. Otherwise, let us continue on to my rants. Oh, and I won’t be discussing the Sopranos, since I ...

Well, now I no longer have to wonder what Chaplin does when I’m not home…

I generally don’t link to anything that’s Not Safe For Work on this site. However, I’m bending that rule a bit with this post, depending on how bra-friendly your workplace is. The Japanese have made some serious bra innovations recently, and genius the bra with two strategically placed baseball gloves is only surpassed with the ...

A few items of note to pass along. – You might think Onion Sports’ headline on Barry Bonds, “Barry Bonds Took Steroids, Reports Everyone Who Has Ever Watched Baseball”, was the best part of their Bonds coverage. You’d be wrong. – Stuff like this makes me unnecessarily excited. “You mean I could roll up my ...