I bought a new bottle of shampoo a while back, because I thought I was going to run out far before I actually did. I bought my traditional Pert Plus, with its 2-in-1 cleansing action. However, they didn’t have just plain old Pert Plus at the store when I went. They had Pert Plus Fresh, ...

My TiVo recorded four episodes of “Great Blunders in History” off the History Channel today. I’m not sure if this was an April Fool’s gag or not. This, however, is an excellent April Fool’s gag.

I make an appearance in the opening of the show tomorrow (the little thing after the opening credits and before the monologue). If I look like I have no idea what’s going on, it’s because I didn’t. I got back from a run about five minutes before showtime and they were like, “Hey, we need ...

I’ve had this weird thing in my right ear for the last couple of days where my eardrum starts involuntarily twitching. It’s like a muscle spasm, except much, much louder. When it twitches, it’s like (duh) a small drum is beating directly in my ear. It’s only for about a minute or two every once ...

If, unlike me, you don’t spend half your time catching up on cinematic history, check out the Movie-A-Minute page. This summary of Speed is a pretty good representation of their work.

Starting Monday, I will no longer work in the Audience department at the show. I will be a Production Assistant at the show. This makes me very happy. I’m not sure whether to classify it as a promotion, because it’s something of a lateral move, but it’s back under the production’s banner rather than the ...

The 9/11 Hearings Flowchart accurately describes not only the 9/11 hearings, but pretty much anything that happens in my evil hometown of Washington, D.C.

Always entertaining when you get on the freeway and see a sign that says “LEFT LANE CLOSED AHEAD,” and then when you get to the lane closure, it’s the right lane that’s actually closed.

I have had a recurring case of the hiccups for the last couple of days. And it is driving me fucking crazy. I haven’t had hiccups in four or five months, which I realize now is a pretty damn long time not to have the hiccups. I think my cumulative hiccups for that time have ...

If you value your sanity, do not try Domino’s Cheesy Dots. They are horribly, horribly addictive, and full of greasy goodness. Anything this tasty has to be full of evil. Or at the very least, shitloads of cholesterol.