I’m very glad I was never an average teen, because according to a recent report, the average teen spends about $638 on the prom.

I think that figure might work for me if you include the worth of the car I drove to prom in (’83 Buick Skylark, painted a ridiculous color of electric blue…I never once forgot where I parked, because the thing fuckin’ glowed in the dark), plus the value of the duct tape holding the seats together.

And frankly, I think me and the friends I drove had a much better time than people buying ridiculous dresses, paying for a limo and a hotel room, and worrying about how everything was gonna turn out.

In my/my friends’ case, 12 of us ate at Bennihana’s, then drove in our regular cars to prom, then went to school-sponsored after-prom. The whole evening, including my dress (no, seriously, I did wear a dress to prom) and gas, cost probably about $150.

We certainly much more fun than the girl at my ridiculously overpriced high school who had her asswipe boyfriend push her (complete with $5000 dress) into the Reflecting Pool down by the Washington Monument before prom…

…So she promptly switched into her $2000 backup dress. I laughed, mostly because that girl was a complete bitch, but I cried at the though of all that money that I could have spent on CD’s…ones I listen to or ones I made, it didn’t matter to me.

Ah, memories…Makes me ready to go back to my 10-year reunion and see who’s a lawyer, who’s a politician, and who’s a coke whore…

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