Opening your mailbox to find Bill Gates staring back at you from the cover of Newsweek. I’m sorry, but he gives me the heebie-jeebies. I can’t put my finger on why. Perhaps it’s the combination of his uber-nerd style, Kermit The Frog voice, and that slight glint of evil in his eye. Perhaps it’s just ...

Watching Arnold Schwarzenneger sit down in the governor’s chair, jokingly shout “Makeup!” and then sign a repeal of the car tax, it occured to me: What if this is all a really, really elaborate episode of Punk’d? Would anyone truly be surprised if Ashton Kutcher jumped out and, in that obnoxious laugh of his, pronounced ...

Okay, granted, it was for five seconds total and the only way I could tell was through the magic of TiVo’s slow-motion button, aided by the fact that I knew where to look because I knew where I was sitting during the taping. I feel a bit like Mike Wazowski in Monsters Inc.: [Mike and ...

That I can’t watch (or especially listen to) footage of the new Governator being inaugurated without breaking into hysterical giggles?

All non-football fans, ignore. Football fans, discuss. The Chiefs lost to the Bengals?! Other than the easy SI Cover Curse explanation, how the hell did that happen?

I have finally discovered the source of the bane of my weekend existence. For the last couple of weekends, I’ve heard a very loud circular saw, a lot of drilling, and some hammering (some with what has got to be a sledgehammer, some with a regular hammer) starting at 8am. I cannot even begin to ...

I read a lot of weird news sites on a regular basis, both for my own entertainment and more recently, also for work. You see a lot of strange shit on there. Not much shocks me anymore, and I’ve gotten a bit cynical about ever seeing anything that truly surprises me on there. Friday, while ...

You consider this a normal conversation: Co-worker: Hey, you should come downstairs and see the elephant. You: Okay, right after Sarah McLachlan’s soundcheck. Co-worker: Cool. It’s right outside the elephant doors. You: Huh, I guess that’s why they call them elephant doors, then. Co-worker: I guess.

Because I stole them from others. – Blogger Strikes Back Against Mom (courtesy Linz) I already posted about the great Onion article that inspired this, but this is quite funny as well. Example: “You know how faces are sometimes blurred on news programs to protect peoples’ privacy? You can go that same route with your ...

I ended up in the audience when they were a couple people short for the 7pm taping of the show tonight, so look for me in the back row wearing a green plaid shirt and looking like a dolt when the show airs on Monday. This, incidentally, is why everyone in the audience is clearly ...