I Don’t Whether To Puke Or Cry 2

There was a scathing profile of Paris Hilton in the New York Times this morning, and it just made me want to scream.

A few choice selections, and I shit you not, this isn’t the entire article:

It appears that Ms. Hilton’s blond ambition knows no bounds and she is clearly intent on capitalizing on her fame; she commands anywhere from $150,000 to $200,000 to appear at a party for 20 minutes, she said. “If it’s in Japan I get more,” she said.

Her jewelry line, like the other products Ms. Hilton peddles, is not high-end, more befitting Cosmo Girl than Vogue. A handbag line, a clothing line, an album (think Blondie meets Gwen Stefani, Ms. Hilton said), an energy drink and a chain of boutique hotels are also on the horizon. When asked what Hotel Paris will look like, Ms. Hilton’s voice rose several octaves. “It will be pink and hot,” she said, sounding very much like a shy first-grader.

In the past it has been all too easy to write off Ms. Hilton as a publicity-hungry heirhead given to inane pronouncements like, “that’s hot,” but increasingly people in the business world are taking her seriously and many believe it may be Ms. Hilton and not her detractors who has the last laugh.

Ms. Hilton may not come across as the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she is a Mensa-caliber genius at being a celebrity… After dinner, Ms. Hilton headed next door to the designer Patricia Field’s boutique. She picked up several dresses and contemplated buying a $1,000 pair of pumps, but then the businesswoman in her took over. “You all should give these to me for free,” Ms. Hilton told the three salespeople who swirled about her like ladies in waiting, “because once I wear them, you know that they are going to be in all the magazines and everyone is going to write about them.” She was given the shoes.

And finally, in the last four paragraphs, the reporter gives Ms. Hilton enough rope with which to…well, take a look:

When asked to explain her popularity, Ms. Hilton said: “I live a fantasy life. It’s not a fantasy to me, because that’s all I know, but a lot of people are interested.” Ms. Hilton said that she consulted with her father, Rick Hilton, on all her business ventures. Mr. Hilton, whose grandfather Conrad founded the Hilton hotel company, is chairman of the Los Angeles real estate company Hilton & Hyland.

What is the best career advice her dad has given her? “Never settle,” Ms. Hilton said. “You can always get a lot more.”

Ms. Hilton shares a home with her “soul mate” of five months, Paris Latsis, an heir to a Greek shipping fortune. She said that she hoped to marry Mr. Latsis and have children. “I want a big princess wedding,” she said, her voice again rising octaves.

Ms. Hilton has absolutely no plans to go into the business that made her family name famous. “I can do my own hotels, so why would I work for somebody else?” she asked. “It’s better for me to be in charge. I can do it, so why not?”

You know, normally I’d say what I really think of Paris Hilton, but I think Lola Ogunnaike expressed it much more eloquently and subtly over the course of the article than I ever could.

And she wasn’t that fucking subtle.

Thanks to Gawker for pointing this out.

2 thoughts on “I Don’t Whether To Puke Or Cry

  1. Reply Mark May 3,2005 2:40 pm

    “When I was saying I was going to work with Paris, people were like, ‘You’ve got to be kidding, she can’t sing,’ ” he said. “But it didn’t really matter to me because she is sexy. And if you can capture that on a record, she could easily sell a million quick.”

    Shudder. Is that really all there is?

  2. Reply Ellen Nov 30,-0001 12:00 am

    Yep! And personally, I think he’s underestimating her sales potential if the album’s anything better than completely awful.

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