Horoscope Analysis

This is one of my favorite birthday activities: Dissecting my bullshit birthday horoscope, both for my overall sign and for my birthday individually.

I like doing an end-of-day check of the horoscope to see if it was right or not every once in a while. Usually, it’s comically off, but every once in a while it’s at least applicable. Today’s horoscope for my sign was actually fairly accurate:

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Plans made today risk sudden changes.

This part was definitely true. I planned to loaf and watch movies, but my DVD player suddenly went kerflooey, so I had to change my plans and buy a new one.

That kind of pissed me off, since it’s yet another unexpected expense. But the geekly joy of playing with a new toy is surprisingly effective in soothing my financial worries. I must be careful with that knowledge…

Those brilliant brainstorms may require rethinking. Be prepared for surprises and eruptions of temperament.

This part came true when I hooked the cords up to my new DVD player completely wrong. That was the “brilliant” part. And it did cause an eruption of temperment on my part, since the picture was all fucked up.

Put off important matters until planetary alignments are more harmonious.

I’d say slacking on looking for a summer job and going shopping then to the beach instead probably made that part true, too.

Obviously, I can’t do a post-mortem on what’s been predicted for the year, but I can certainly make a couple smartass remarks about this:

IF JUNE 8 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY . . . you will soon be able to break free of something that has held you back for several years.

Singleness? Please God…

Since you feel like the center of attention today, you may think you can set the pace, but now is not the best day to enlist cooperation. Concentrate on the job at hand.

Um…right, job. Uh huh. Move along, nothing to see here.

Keep celebrating your birthday this weekend.

I’m way ahead of you there, Horoscope. At the rate things are going with the Search For Summer Employment, I’ll be celebrating all summer!

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