Sigalert.com is a very helpful little website that we have here in L.A. that tells you about traffic speeds and delays in the area. You can see the speeds from little dots and see Sigalerts from the big diamonds.
A Sigalert is a notice that is issued when there’s going to be a substantial delay or lane closure. You can click on the little diamonds to see what the exact problem is.
So I was bored and looking at the website this afternoon, and there was a Sigalert on one of my alternate routes home, and when I moused over, it said structure or grass fire.
So I clicked on it for more details, and got this hilarious bit of gibberish (emphasis mine):
4:17 PM – Structure or Grass Fire
Thomas Guide Map Coordinates: Page 563, Grid 5A
4:17 PM – Grass Fire
4:19 PM – Message/Item Delivered Lapd/448/ Message/Item Delivered Lafd/53
4:19 PM – Vineland On Ramp to North 101 Fire 97
4:19 PM – Male Pants Possible Caught Fire
4:19 PM – Additional Witness States Male Subject Possible Trying to Put Out the Fire
4:20 PM – Message/Item Delivered LA Fire Department-Copies Also Reported South 101 at Vineland
4:32 PM – Message/Item Delivered LAPD // Advise They Did not Have an Incident for this // They Have Created a New One
4:35 PM – Please Issue a Sigalert // Vineland On Ramp to South 101 Will Be Shut Down for Unknown Duration for Police Activity
First of all, the mangled syntax is hilarious in and of itself, but the idea that some idiot with his pants on fire could shut downt LA traffic for a substantial amount of time just cracks me up.
Insert your own Bill Clinton joke here.
Did you know that the guy who coined the term SIgAlert died recently? None of these damned Midwesterners or even transplanted wanna-be SoCalians knew what a SigAlert was.
Hey! I know what a Sigalert is! Granted, I had to read sigalert.com’s FAQ to know exactly what it meant…but now I know!