One thing the Austin Powers steamroller sequence does not show you: Steamrollers make the ground vibrate. A lot. They’re repaving Chicago Avenue, the street directly outside my bedroom window, and they finally put the last bit of pavement down today, so they brought the steamroller out. Except it vibrated my building so hard that it ...

I should probably let you all know that I’m getting my wisdom teeth pulled in about 12 hours or so, and will be given a great many painkillers. I will thus be unable to walk, think, or speak, let alone type for at least the next couple of days. I will try my damndest to ...

Yet another reason I’m glad I’m out of D.C.: No more constant 9/11 tributes every time I try to listen to the radio. D.C. has every reason to have more 9/11 coverage in its newspapers and TV stations and news radio stations. After all, almost 200 people were killed when a plane hit the Pentagon. ...

Ok, so I know from talking to other women that I am not the only one who gets that weird naked feeling when I shave my legs if I haven’t shaved them in a while. My question to the gentlemen: Do you get that when you shave your face in the morning? Is it more ...

I said goodbye to my house last week. My mom, as I mentioned about a quarter billion times, is selling the house I grew up in. I went home to clean it out. This was an enormously difficult task, as I have quite a huge amount of shit. I’m a horrid pack rat, and I ...

My memory has been shot for some time now. I think that a lot of it has to do with the massive amount of facts that I have to memorize and then can forget at the end of the quarter. Thus, I cannot remember anything at all for more than 2 months, and most stuff ...

So I walk into a Waffle House just outside of Columbus, Ohio on the drive from DC to Champaign, Illinois to visit Ray and Elisa, my friends who got married in Dallas. Anyway, I walk into the Waffle House, and I go to sit down at the counter. There’s an old man, probably 85 or ...

I have returned. Details at 11. Or possibly 1 or 2, whenever I happen to roll out of bed.

Home is an odd thing, especially when your task is to remove it of all traces of your life there. All my stuffed animals? Most given away, a few I can’t bear to part with bagged up and ready to come home. The giant piles of magazines? In the trash or boxed up. All my ...

Farmer Fights To Fend Off Freaky Shroomers. You may have to register to view the article, which is obnoxious but worth it.