I’ll be in Iowa the next couple of days, doing a bit of getting the fuck out of Evanston and seeing one of my favorite bands, Wilco, perform for zealous Iowans. I’m sure corn will somehow be involved in the story I tell upon my return at 4am on Monday. So no updates for a ...

Canadians are generally a very nice, very easygoing people. So you really have to piss them off to get them to riot. Congratulations, Axl Rose. You now own the title of second biggest asshole in North America (biggest will belong to G.W. as long as he’s in office, which I hope to god will not ...

I graduate in a month and a day (my last final is December 9th). I have not had a single job interview yet. I have no idea whether I have a realistic shot at anything I’ve sent my resumé to. I’m really, really fucked, aren’t I? Oh dear…

I was trying to explain to my friend Nate the complexities of my sexuality (I have this minor tendency to go off on tangents and somehow we ended up on this subject), and I came up with what I think was one of the better metaphors I’ve come up with in a while. I strongly ...

It’s only after you finally realize what an asshole you’ve been being lately and start apologizing to people for it that they go, “Yeah dude, what the fuck has been up with you?”

Ah, election day. The day when we see the end of all this ridiculous political campaigning, at least for another couple of months. I actually went and voted today. It’s a fairly mundane process, but little details can make it really amusing. Like candidates who insist on putting nicknames on the ballot. The Libertarian congressional ...

Even better than Poke The Bunny: Poke The Penguin. I’d like to note that I was introduced to both of these sites by my friend Miyuki, who once poked me in the side all the way to Baltimore and back when we went to an Orioles game, laughing maniacally all the while. Whoever said that ...

I finally started doing some real excersise today, and I think that what finally motivated me to get up off my ass says a lot about my misplaced priorities. I could, and should, be doing this for my health, my appearance, my self-esteem, whatever. So what has possesed me to finally stop bitching and start ...

From my Golden God of the Month, no less: Joel: this thanksgiving will put the “fucked up” in “let’s get the fuck away from these people” Good thing my resolution to quit drinking for a month expires directly after Thanksgiving.

Many weird things come up when you don’t adhere to standard sexual preferences, some easily anticipated, some not. This week’s unanticipated weirdness: Learning a new language. You obviously have to learn the words for husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc., and the professor generally goes around the room asking what the girls want in their ideal ...