Last night when I woke up from a nap, I noticed an irritant in my eye. I figured it was an eyelash or a speck of dust or something, so I went to the mirror to try and get it out.
After poking myself in the eye for a couple minutes, I realized that what I thought was a speck was not moving, and was actually a slight cut on my eyeball.
Luckily, working on a show about pretend doctors, we have a registered nurse and a couple actual doctors wandering around the office to ensure we have something that at least resembles accuracy.
The RN listened to me describe my symptoms and immediately diagnosed me with a small corneal abrasion, also known as…a cut on my eyeball.
The good news, she told me, is that because it’s not very severe, it should go away on its own in a couple of days if I don’t rub my eye when it itches. Which of course, I want to do all the fucking time.
Her recommended treatment was also kind of hilarious: Put on an eye patch when I got home and wear it overnight to stimulate the healing process.
She meant of gauze, but I immediately had this mental picture of running into one of the now-closing Halloween discount stores and picking myself up an eyepatch.
Although that’d be slightly less ridiculous than my current getup: Gauze held in place by a hilariously oversized ace bandage because I couldn’t get the tape to stick.
No, there will not be pictures.