I’ve injured myself in a lot of dumb ways before, but this one takes the cake.
As I was opening a jar of tomato sauce, a piece of dried-on sauce sliced my finger open. At first just thought, ow, that hurt a lot more than tomato sauce should. Then I noticed blood.
And then I thought, “Oh shit, blood!”
I did not know that much blood could be produced by dried-on tomato sauce. Now I know. And so do you.
Please, for safety’s sake, check your half-empty jars of tomato sauce before you open them. This message brought to you by the Complete Idiots’ Society of Southern California.
You will live in Mansion.
You will drive a Silver Honda Civic.
You will marry Leslie and have 0 kids.
You will be a Journalist in Washington, DC. (I shit you not–it’s fate.)
Well, at least it knows I won’t have any kids…except for the mansion part, this thing is dead on.
But who is this Leslie charcter? Leslie Stahl? Leslie Neilsen? Leslie, Nate’s Boss?