I’m in the opening thing on the show that airs…well, today, technically. So is most of the staff of the show, but I’m standing directly behind Ellen D., to the viewer’s right. I’m the one in the Wilco shirt, clapping like a trained seal. Well, we’re all clapping like trained seals, but never mind. See ...

I got a call at about ten to four in the morning, and I was wondering what the fuck that was about. No one was on the line, just some beeping. Then, all of a sudden, my printer/scanner/fax machine sprang to life, and out popped a sheet pitching me better mortgage rates. I am now ...

The Onion hits the nail on the head yet again: This is so me trying to write a paper when I was in college.

Anybody that has seen the show has probably seen the wonderfully dippy little opening gags we do each day when they whoosh the door back to reveal Ellen at the very beginning of the show, right after the opening credits roll, and before the monologue. It’s a bit like the couch gag on the Simpsons. ...

Sometimes I can understand a bit of rubbernecking. And sometimes it just makes no goddamn sense. I ran into both on the way to work this afternoon. It made sense when a crushed car fell off an 18-wheeler carrying about 18 crushed cars into the middle of the 405 freeway. That’s just not something you ...

They’ve asked me to come in way early for my 2nd day (reasons too complicated to explain, but seems like a once-in-a-while thing). This is has its downside and its upside. Downside: I’m already used to getting up for a 2pm start time, after one day. And it means my second day will be 13 ...

More Roadtrip 2003 photos. Today’s installment: Yellowstone National Park. Hope you guys are actually enjoying these. Probably only one or two more batches to go.

Mr. Timberlake blames a “wardrobe malfunction.” And the headlines just keep on coming. Thus far, a couple of the more entertaining ones: – CBS Beats Breast Over Jackson’s Slip Up (Toronto Globe and Mail) – Super Bowl tittilation shocks audience (The Age [Melbourne, Austrailia]) – Sorry for the boob, says CBS (The Sydney [Austrailia] Morning ...

Ah, Super Bowl Sunday: A time for nachos, guacamole, and of course, streakers and semi-bare superstar breasts. Silver piercing/pasties provided by Mr. S&M’s of Beverly Hills.

I get to stay at the show! The audience department, which is run through an outside contractor, hired me on specifically to stay at the show! I had been talking to them about freelancing at other shows since I had thought they were staffed up at the show, but I got the good news tonight ...