Today was not a good day for not spilling things on myself.

Phase One began when I tried to drain a can of Red Bull…with an uncapped, half-full water bottle in the same hand. That was the smoothest move of the shirt incidents.

Phase Two occured when I went to pick up some coffee for assorted people at the commissary (i.e. cafeteria). One person wanted a soy latte. This beverage apparently did not want to be made.

When the coffee dude was making it, it overflowed and burned his hands. Although it probably wasn’t a brilliant idea for him to heat the soy milk directly in the cup.

Then, as I was carrying it back, it spit a large chunk of its contents directly onto my shirt, in the exact same place (and almost exactly the same pattern) as the water I had spilled earlier.

Phase Three was when I tried to use some of the “wash-free hand sanitizer” they have at work after I cleaned a bunch of trash off the floor.

I didn’t even notice that a large blob of it was on my shirt. And neither did the guy I was talking to. Unless he was being a complete dick, but he’s really a very good guy, so I think he just missed it.

But now I smell like a combination of latte and sanitizer, and have for most of the day. I should have just dumped a bucket of water over my head and gotten it all overwith…

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