Badge Of Honor 1

I am now the proud owner of my first security badge. I had to get one for work, and I think it’s quite funny.

It amuses me because growing up in D.C., people wore their security badges all the time, especially if they worked on Capitol Hill. I strongly suspect some of these people wore the badges when they slept and showered.

I noticed this mostly when I worked at Starbucks after my senior year of high school. I worked at a store with ridiculous morning traffic, and almost everyone who came in had some badge or another chained, clipped, taped, glued, or otherwise attached to themselves.

Some of these people seemed to think that a pass stating they were a Senate page made them look really important, and thus entitled them to faster coffee service, or possibly a blowjob. Or at least extra foam.

The thing about security badges in D.C. was that the badge didn’t just simply state your name and where you worked, but exactly what you did.

It was a weird, less paper-intensive variation of the Japanese business tradition where everyone exchanges business cards to see who ranks the highest. Or to put it in a slightly more vulgar way, it was a public dick-measuring contest.

Like most things out here, the competition is at least a little more laid-back.

My badge (and the few I’ve seen out here) has my name, my photo, and the NBC logo (since they tape the show the show at NBC Studios since NBC is a joint owner of the production company), and that’s it.

Everyone on the lot has the same nondescript badge, from the executive producers at each show to the cashiers in the commissary. Thus, there’s far less point in constantly wearing it when you’re not actually at work.

Here, a badge is something to get through doors and gates, as opposed to something to show off. And frankly, I think it works a lot better that way.

I just gotta figure out how to attach it to myself surgically so I don’t lose it….