You know what drives me nuts? When I’m eating something, usually some sort of donut or a funnel cake, covered in powdered sugar, and the powdered sugar goes all over me, and people look at me like I’m on cocaine. “No, really! It’s just sugar! Here, try snorting it, it won’t get you high…”

I have two modes when I drink: 1. Will fuck anything and everything, animate or inanimate. 2. Self-loathing. I hit #2 really badly earlier tonight when I finally decided to suck it up and write something to Irene (whom I have also referred to as the Hot Italian Chick, although I really need to actually ...

Do not watch romantic comedies when you’ve been drinking. It only serves to make you more depressed that you’re alone.

Reading an article in the Wall Street Journal linked off Obscure Store, and they refer to Snoop Dogg by his real name, and even put it under one of those dopey little pencil drawings they do. For some reason, that just seems weird to me. That and the fact that Snoop quit smoking weed. As ...

Things you notice when you have way the fuck too much time on your hands: I have a series of mosquito bites and scars on my right leg that have formed the shape of the big dipper, although backwards. I have no idea what this means.

I went to a Kol Nidre service tonight since it’s Yom Kippur, and I had to go atone for my sins of the last year. That, and shut up all of my parental units who would berate me until the end of time if I didn’t go. (You didn’t know I was Jewish, you say? ...

Do not watch JFK. I just sat through the “Director’s Cut” of it that I took out from Blockbuster since I thought, oh, this should be interesting, since Oliver Stone is supposed to be a good director and such. I watched it tonight because my jaw has been hurting when I try to laugh, so ...

My new mouse is creeping me out. I got an optical mouse because my old, roller-ball mouse finally conked out after three valiant years of service, clicking away on hundreds of thousands of hours of wasted time. This new mouse however, has this little red light. And there’s a curve in the casing of the ...

Click Here. I’m the one at the board.

Deep-fried Twinkies. From Seattle, of all places. I would have expected this from Alabama, but not Seattle.