Stupid Groundhog!

Punxsatawney Phil saw his shadow. Six more bloody weeks of winter.

And no, I do not subscribe to the alternative groundhogs, General Beauregard Lee, the Southern groundhog, or Buckeye Chuck, the Ohio groundhog. The mere fact that these alternahogs exist and are reported on are testimony to the sheer stupidity of Americans as a group.

Individually, we may be smart. Collectively, we believe that rodents can accurately forecast the weather.

At least my heat works now. So well, in fact, that I’m surprised everything plastic in my room hasn’t melted. I’m sure as shit not complaining about this problem, however. I’d rather melt than freeze. Plus, when it’s hot you can crack a window. Five blankets wasn’t cutting it in the cold.

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