In a place like Los Angeles, where you are in your car so much that it can begin to feel like a second home, your car becomes an extension of your personality.
So people decorate their cars to reflect their personalities. And some people, I’ve noticed, have really fuckin’ weird personalities.
Every morning on my commute, I see at least one stick-in-my-mind weird decoration on a car. Sometimes two. But this morning, three stuck in my mind (In the order I saw them):
1. A guy in a blue minivan, with a matching blue magnet-ribbon that proclaimed “Jesus Saved Me.” Not informing others that Jesus can save them, but that Jesus has saved that one guy. I guess he just felt like sticking it to those of us not yet touched by Christ’s love.
Also: Magnet-ribbon? Just in case Jesus gives up on you, it’s easily removable! Not like those pesky bumper stickers. You really have to scrape to get ’em off if God abandons you in your hour of need.
2. A guy in a silver WRX, with either a very small bumper sticker or a very large labelmaker label that said “I am Brad Pitt.” It was definitely not Brad Pitt. However, it was the odd size of the sticker that really confused me, because I couldn’t tell if someone had stuck it on there as a prank, or if it was a joke I wasn’t getting.
3. A guy in a dark green Lexus with a license plate that said “RX SLEEP” and a plate frame offering his services as a “sleep-medication consultant.” Well, I suppose it does look a little bit more acceptable than a plate frame that says “HEY COPS! I SELL DRUGS!”
It’s been a while since I had a trifecta, especially since my commute is now down to about 25 minutes in the morning and 15 at night.
But Lord knows, there certainly will be more weird car adornments. You can’t escape them here.
Q: What were some of the pranks you pulled on set?
DAMON: (Turning to Clooney) That bumper sticker you put on Brad’s car on the last day of shooting’s good.
CLOONEY: That was good. You know, that was just getting him back. We did a few pranks. There were some antics? You see, Brad had done some dastardly things to me? You guys might have already heard the story, but when we were in Rome, we first got to Italy, Brad had a memo put out in Italian that said to all the Italian crew that Mr. Clooney would appreciate it if you would only engage him as Danny Ocean or Mr. Ocean, don’t look at him in the eyes.
DAMON: The memo was just as if George had written it.
CLOONEY: And [they] handed it out so it really sound like I was trying to stay in character, so for about a month that went around. Everywhere I went, it was like, ‘Okay, Mr. Ocean.’ until I finally said, ‘What the hell?’ And when I found out, when it got into the paper that I was like this diva that made all the crew call me Mr. Ocean, I felt like I had to get him. So I just put a bumper sticker on the back of his car that said, there were two… I put one on that went for a few days that said, ‘I’m gay and I vote?’ And then it was, ‘Small Penis on Board,’ right? And that ran for a few days too.
DAMON: That was right on the side door so as he drove through LA rush hour…
CLOONEY: [It was] on the passenger door.
DAMON: People were honking at him and waving. And he thinks it’s because he’s Brad Pitt and he’s waving back.
Heh, I did hear about that. Alas, this one just said “I am Brad Pitt” and had no mention of penis size.
Also, I stopped next to the car at a light, and the guy was DEFINITELY not Brad Pitt.