Stop The (Fictional) Killing! 6

Okay, two straight nights of this shit, I’ve got to post something about it.

If you give a fuck about either 24 or the L Word and haven’t seen the most recent episodes, STOP READING RIGHT NOW.

Otherwise, let us continue on to my rants. Oh, and I won’t be discussing the Sopranos, since I don’t watch The Sopranos.

I know, there exists a TV show I don’t watch. Try not to die of shock.

First, The L Word kills off Dana, then 24 kills off Tony! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

I realize most who watch one don’t watch the other, so I’ll put my rants under seperate headers.

The L Word

Dana is a tennis star, who started out both dopily endearing and deeply closeted, and ended up a much more confident, proud woman.

She was one of the most popular characters, and one a lot of lesbians strongly identified with. Clearly, this meant she got to be afflicted with Breast Cancer this season.

But the producers of The L Word decided that not only would she be afflicted with it, she’d eventually die. And this is where I have a problem.

Their stated goal was to raise awareness of breast cancer in lesbians, which is actually a major and legitimate problem. Fine, all well and good. A bit heavy-handed, but what about TLW isn’t?

Killing Dana off was a spectacularly stupid decision. How stupid was it? Let me count the ways.

First of all, their stated reasons for doing it were “She’s the most popular character on the show! Aren’t we daring!”. No, you’re just manipulating the audience instead of entertaining them.

Some would argue that manipulating the audience IS entertaining them, but the key difference for me is that you don’t feel used after a manipulation that is genuinely entertaining.

The post-episode featurette where this reasoning is exposed is part of what has me so very, very angry about the way this was handled.

The producers and writers were extremely self-congratulatory about telling an “honest” story, whereas the cast was terribly sad that they can’t work with a hilarious and talented actress like Erin Daniels anymore.

Every actor interview made me sympathetic, and every writer/producer interview made me want to throw something at the television (particularly those underscored by the twee “Sad Moments: Violins” stock music someone at Showtime dug up).

Second of all, Dana did not have to die to make this storyline compelling and dramatic.

Cancer and radiation/chemo treatment for it are pretty damn close to hell on earth, and you can extract plenty of drama from that without killing a character that’s become the heart of your show.

The only thing actually killing Dana off accomplished beyond what could have been accomplished simply by having her be sick was making viewers extremely depressed.

Third of all, this show has always been frustratingly uneven. The moments of levity that break through the soap operatic drama are what make the show bearable.

And now, the second-funniest actress on the show is gone. Leisha Hailey’s golden comic timing remains, but without Erin Daniels to play off of, I fear her character may start verging from funny into Wacky (see: Next week’s preview of Alice stealing a portion of Dana’s ashes).

If the show decides that the high ratings it’s been getting this season are due to the Dramatic Turns they’ve been taking, I don’t think I’ll be watching season 4. I can’t take stupidity at this level combined with depression.

Finally, the repeated on-screen clock ticking down Dana’s last 45 minutes was such a blatant and poorly executed rip-off of 24, they could only have intended it as a segue into the next section of my rant.

24

Killing Tony was not nearly as egregious a turn from a show’s normal tone for 24 as killing Dana was for The L Word, but killing him when they did was just as stupid and half-baked an idea.

I’ll grant 24 this: They have a time-honored tradition of killing off beloved characters. From Bride of Kiefer in the Season 1 finale to Edgar last week, the show has never had a problem killing people off.

I’ll also grant that they’re a show about terrorism, and in a show about terrorism, people have to die. And the stakes become higher for the viewer if they know that their favorite characters’ lives are on the line.

The problem I have with 24’s killing is that they went completely overboard in the last two weeks. They killed three major characters over the course of two episodes.

When you go on a spree like that, you take away the meaning of death. 24 hadn’t killed anyone since Palmer at the beginning of the season, which was part of why Edgar’s death was so shocking.

But when they killed Lynn McGill earlier on in tonight’s episode, they started going into Serial Character Killing.

I suppose the writing team thought they were being smart by making people think the major death of the episode was going to be McGill’s, then turning around and killing Tony too.

I actually don’t even have a problem with the way they did it, with Tony seeking revenge for his dead wife on the half-dead turncoat whose conspiracy killed her, and having it blow up in his face.

Well, technically, having it stab him in the chest and then inject him with poison. The syringe was a bit much (seriously, guys, next time just shoot the fucker), but on its own, it could have worked.

The problem for me is one of scale. By killing Tony immediately after Edgar and McGill, they rob his character’s death of the impact it so richly deserved.

Tony was the only character besides Kiefer who remained from the first season. When you kill off someone like him, you cannot make it the icing on the cake (in this metaphor, the cake is made of DOOM!). You’ve got to make it the whole damn cake.

I think if they had pulled a similar stunt in about six episodes, after the hubub died down about Edgar (nobody liked McGill), it would have had a much stronger impact.

It also wouldn’t have reeked as strongly of “Shit, what do we do now?” “I know, we’ll kill Tony!” “Brilliant!”.

Unfortunately for both shows, what’s done is done, and viewers will have to live with the consequences.