Since nothing really, truly odd happened today (well, aside from a surreal debate on how the term “whoop ass” was spelled [me: “whoop-ass”, Lummis: “whoopas”. As it turns out we were both wrong, but I’m sorry, the latter sounds like a bad Star Wars character]), I have a couple things from yesterday.
Remember the muffin stumps episode of Seinfeld? Well, there was a mysterious person who had been slowly eating the tops of muffins at work, and it was driving me nuts.
All they left were the stumps, which as the above-mentioned episode points out, are the worst part of the muffin. So I noticed yesterday that someone had begun picking away at one of the muffins, and I said to Erica, a fellow intern, “Who in the hell keeps doing that?”
30 seconds later, Vanessa, the receptionist, comes in, and rips a big chunk off the top of the muffin.
Erica and I had to try very hard to keep from cracking up until she left.
Bizarre incident #2 came when I had to go to the bank to get petty cash.
Carrying $530 in small bills wasn’t what bothered me, though it did make me kind of nervous about getting mugged or something and trying to explain that to work. “Yeah, some guy mugged me…” They’d be like rrrrrriiiiiiiiiight.
The $83 in quarters was the problem.
I didn’t have a bag, so I had to stash this all in my pockets (thank god for cargo shorts). Eight rolls of quarters weighs approximately fifteen pounds, and the bank is a good half-mile from the office.
So I’m walking through downtown Chicago, carrying over six hundred dollars and about seventeen pounds worth of cash on me, trying to act nonchalant while desperately hoping that my pockets held up when I had to run to not get hit by a car because I couldn’t walk fast enough to make it across during the walk signal.
I like my job in general, but I’m glad this is my last week so I’ll never have to do that again…