Just get me to the airport And put me on a plane Hurry, hurry, hurry Before I go insane I can’t control my fingers I can’t control my brain Oh no-o-o-o-o…

T-minus 38 hours until liftoff. I’m so tired I can’t think straight and yet I still have tons and tons of stuff to do. I know, boo fuckin’ hoo, poor widdle baby has to go on an insanely amazing trip. Like I said before: I love to travel, but I fucking HATE preparing for it. ...

Anthony Williams is the mayor of Washington, DC. He looks like this (though the lighting in this shot is making him look a bit Vader-ish): I thought Anthony Williams was the dippiest-looking mayor I’d ever live under. Oh, was I ever wrong: Oh, Mayor-Elect Villaraigosa. I know most of the time you look far less ...

I leave Friday morning for New York, and then for Europe. I was going to get a lot of stuff done today, but instead spent over two hours fighting with my printer (Thanks Joel, for finally suggesting the thing that made it behave!), and another hour and a half making a batch of enchiladas that ...

We’re up for a bunch of Daytime Emmys, which air tonight at 9 on CBS. Watch and you might get to see some of the people I work with in some truly hilarious suits and dresses. Edited to Add: Woo! We won Best Talk Show (for the 2nd year in a row) and Best Talk ...

While watching a Headline News story about Voice Over Internet Protocol (VoIP) phone services, one of the anchors pronoucned the acronym as if it were a single word: “Voyp.” Personally, I thought this was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I mentioned this to Joel and he said “voyp” sounds like some weird new sexually ...

These guys have got to learn that you need to use non-live things when pulling Senior Prank. Like my class: We got hold of 25 tons of marshmallows, and blocked the whole front porch of the school off with them, three feet deep. Although they’re still better than the class before us at my school. ...

After working a 15 hour day, I didn’t check the traffic on my route home because it was already 9, past even the point of Los Angeles rush hour. Of course, this is the one time where there was a massive accident after 9 on the 405, and I got stuck in entirely non-moving traffic ...

The fire alarm in my building went off for the first time since I moved in almost two years ago at 1am this morning. Since nobody ever fucks around with it, I figured it was real, so I scooped up the cat, put him in the carrier, and ran, heart pounding, outside. Where I was ...