Do you ever feel like you need a t-shirt that says “I’m with stupid,” but has the arrow pointing directly up at your face instead of to one side? I did today. I got my car washed, then I went to the grocery store. When I came back from the grocery store, I noticed that ...

Next time I go fishing, I’m bringing a basketball.

When I got my own place, I inherited a lot of kitchen equipment from my dad’s old bachelor pad. Silverware, plates, glasses, spatulas and other utensils, pots and pans, and a blender he purchased in 1967 all were passed along to me. I’m still using most of this stuff (the blender’s starting to emit odd, ...

Please buy me one of these and send it to me in the States. I’ll love you forever if you do, because that’s just too damn funny. Too bad it’s fake.

Hear that? It’s the gentle sound of a clock (that’s still an hour behind because I never changed it to reflect the end of Daylight Savings time) ticking. Silence. My asshat neighbors really did it last night, and I think they’ve gotten new speakers. Their music has grown considerably louder, as if they’re telling the ...

My Cousin Mark has returned to the fold of bloggers, after about a one-year absence, during which time I presume he actually went outside. A link to his new site sits to your right.

I’ve been doing a bit of working out, on the theory that if I’m going to end up doing nothing all summer, I might as well try to get in a shape other than round. But one of the exercises I’ve been doing has been causing me more pain than anything else: situps. My abs ...

In my sheer and utter boredom, I’ve taken to reading Defamer, a combination of entertainment industry and celebrity gossip written in a style that makes me stunned it doesn’t collapse under the weight of its own sarcasm. However, they do a public service by pointing out the warped economics of stardom, by comparing celebrity-gift-basket cost ...

There’s a Soul Coughing song whose lyrics occasionally repeat the theme: “It is 5am…and you are listening…to Los Angeles.” But other than annoying radio jerks M. Doughty listened to while he was tripping on acid five years ago and the occasional siren, what is there to listen to at this ungodly hour? Over the last ...

Founder Of The International House Of Pancakes Dies.