In a place like Los Angeles, where you are in your car so much that it can begin to feel like a second home, your car becomes an extension of your personality.
So people decorate their cars to reflect their personalities. And some people, I’ve noticed, have really fuckin’ weird personalities.
Every morning on my commute, I see at least one stick-in-my-mind weird decoration on a car. Sometimes two. But this morning, three stuck in my mind (In the order I saw them):
1. A guy in a blue minivan, with a matching blue magnet-ribbon that proclaimed “Jesus Saved Me.” Not informing others that Jesus can save them, but that Jesus has saved that one guy. I guess he just felt like sticking it to those of us not yet touched by Christ’s love.
Also: Magnet-ribbon? Just in case Jesus gives up on you, it’s easily removable! Not like those pesky bumper stickers. You really have to scrape to get ’em off if God abandons you in your hour of need.
2. A guy in a silver WRX, with either a very small bumper sticker or a very large labelmaker label that said “I am Brad Pitt.” It was definitely not Brad Pitt. However, it was the odd size of the sticker that really confused me, because I couldn’t tell if someone had stuck it on there as a prank, or if it was a joke I wasn’t getting.
3. A guy in a dark green Lexus with a license plate that said “RX SLEEP” and a plate frame offering his services as a “sleep-medication consultant.” Well, I suppose it does look a little bit more acceptable than a plate frame that says “HEY COPS! I SELL DRUGS!”
It’s been a while since I had a trifecta, especially since my commute is now down to about 25 minutes in the morning and 15 at night.
But Lord knows, there certainly will be more weird car adornments. You can’t escape them here.