Spam-Related Question 4

I got a piece of spam today advertising an internet site wherein “Hot Amateur Sluts Go at It!” Nothing terribly out of the ordinary, but before I clicked it into the oblivion of my junkmail box, I had a thought:

What’s the difference between an an amateur slut and a professional slut?

Is it experience? Is it that an amateur slut doesn’t know what she’s doing, or that she’s recently become slutty enough to perform slutty tasks in public?

If you’ve publicly appeared as a slut three or more times, do you lose your amateur status? Or is the line simply accepting money for your sluttiness instead of just being slutty?

Is there a Slut Olympics that people are clinging to their amateur status in order to enter? What would the events be in the Slut Olympics? And how many would involve use of a banana?

Once you’ve become a professional slut, can your performances only be rebroadcast with the express written consent of Major League Slutball?

Is there a Union of Professional Sluts (and if it exists, is its headquarters in the San Fernando Valley)? Is there a collective bargaining agreement for sluts?

How do sluts go on strike, by putting on sweatsuits and sitting around and eating nachos? Mmm…nachos….

And then I lost that train of thought.

4 thoughts on “Spam-Related Question

  1. Reply Mark Jul 7,2004 2:53 pm

    This, by far, is the best post you’ve had in YEARS….

  2. Reply Laz Jul 7,2004 6:41 pm

    You need a job. :)

    Oh, and I think it’just a matter of priorities. If being a slut is what you put the most time into, then you’re a pro, and you probably get paid for being slutty regularly. If it’s just something you dabble in, then you’re an amateur.

  3. Reply Ellen Jul 7,2004 7:23 pm

    Thanks, Mark. :)

    And Laz, I have a job…just one that has given me an unexpected and unpaid three-month vacation. I’ll be back to bitching about L.A. drivers around mid-August.

  4. Reply Nate Pence Jul 11,2004 9:13 am

    Wow, if I didn’t know you went to bed at 6am and therefore 2:29 am isn’t late for you, I could blame this post on being tired or something. People come up with the weirdest shit in the middle of the night…

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