1. That you should wash your car more often: One cheap-o wash gets your car so much cleaner that it actually appears that the paint is now three shades darker.
2. That you need to start actually reading your magazine subscriptions: A two-parter! a) Your stack of unread magazines is over a foot tall and b) your cat is using said stack as a scratching post.
3. That you need to get out more: A friend comes into town and asks for a suggestion of a good restaurant in your area, and the only one you can think of off the top of your head is In-N-Out Burger.
4. That you need a goddamn job: You are me. Or you are these people.