So I’ve got some sort of weird thing on my chin that itches like hell and that I’m now covering with a band-aid in an effort to get myself to leave it be.
However, this brings up a question, since now I have a band-aid on my face: How did I hurt it?
Since I’d rather not repeatedly go into what it actually is, I’m working on some comical retorts. I work at a comedy show, so they have to be good.
So far, they’re not. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
- Bar fight.
- I cut myself shaving.
- It’s actually a hickey.
- I didn’t know you were supposed to turn the engine off first…
- I was slicing onions and I fell asleep on the cutting board.
- That’s where I’ve been injecting the heroin.
- The blanket didn’t completely cover the barbed wire on that fence.
- I got into a knife fight with a midget, and that’s as high up as he could get.
- That’s how the cat wakes me up.
Any further suggestions I can use at work tomorrow would be greatly appreciated.