I Swear, Officer, It’s Just A Gun-Shaped Harmonica

This story about John Popper getting popped for driving over 110 MPH, then having a subsequent search of his vehicle produce a massive cache of weapons and a small amount of weed raises several interesting questions:

– Being the lead singer of freakin’ Blues Traveler, shouldn’t that be “a massive stash of weed and a small cache of weapons”? I don’t think I know one serious fan of theirs who wasn’t a massive, massive stoner.

– What the fuck is he doing driving around in Jack Bauer’s car? Is he planning to singlehandedly invade Canada for the maple syrup? He’s got enough guns in there to start a small terrorist organization.

– Why does this article fail to produce the traditional Fat Popper vs. Thin Popper comparison photo? I swear, that photo’s been on every story even tangentially related to Popper and/or Blues Traveler since Popper had gastric bypass surgery a few years ago and dropped a shitload of weight.

– Is it odd that Blues Traveler is nowhere near as popular with Thin Popper as it was with Fat Popper? Or is a dopey-looking normal-sized white guy playing the harmonica not nearly as interesting as an extremely fat white guy doing the same?

– Where, dear Gods of the Smoking Gun, is the mugshot that goes with this? I can only imagine how fantastic it truly must be.

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